Constantly explaining how no one else can ever love you the way they do
Love can be a great weapon. An abuser knows how to use it to maintain an upper hand over their unsuspecting partner. They’ll keep saying things like, “No one can ever love you to the extent that I do” and “No one else knows how to treat you right” and “We need to be together forever”. These things can sound really charming and they can make you feel truly loved, even when you’re hearing them from an abuser.
The difference between hearing it from a normal partner and an abuser will be that an abuser will only say these things when they feel like they're losing control or if they know that you’re vulnerable at the moment.
Giving you gifts just to control you
Who doesn’t like getting gifts? We all do and abusers know how to make this fact work for their benefit. They will buy you the most thoughtful gifts just to make sure that their apology really looks heartfelt (even when they have every intention of repeating the same actions again).
They will gift you clothes just to control the way you dress. They will buy you extremely expensive gifts just to make sure that you feel some sense of debt and it stops you from leaving them. So next time you’re getting a gift from your partner, make sure you know the exact reason behind it.
Explaining their insecurities with “It’s the people around you that I don’t trust”
Having someone protective around can feel really nice. You feel like someone really cares and it makes you happy. But there’s a very thin line between being protective and being downright controlling. If your partner stops you from going out or doing the things you want by saying the above line, then this is not something you should be happy about.
When you’re in a strong relationship, you always feel like your partner will have your back without feeling the need to ask for their permission every time you’re about to step out of the house.
Talk to me
Do any of these points ring a bell for you? Have you been with an emotionally-abusive person? Let me know about it in the comments below!