“The best way to neutralize the potential destructiveness of your crush is to briefly and simply acknowledge it to your spouse,” she said. “Try saying to your husband, ‘I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’ve a bit of a crush on that new consultant. He’s so funny — his sense of humor reminds me of yours.’”
Though it may be an uncomfortable subject to broach, ultimately, Wahlgast said being transparent about your feelings “will create more openness with your partner. You will each feel more comfortable bringing up other taboo subjects in a kind and respectful way.” That wall of awkwardness will come tumbling down swiftly between you two with time as you keep sharing stuff like this.
“Stop feeling like that.”
That’s like telling a person about to commit suicide to not do it – will that actually stop them? No, right?
Whatever your partner’s feeling is real, it means something to them; that doesn’t make it any less surreal to them.
Everyone amongst us has the right to feel. It’s a part of who we are, the type of feelings we harbor. So in a sense, telling your spouse to not feel what they are feeling is indirectly telling them to not be who they are…a huge turn-off in any relationship.
“You don’t need to wait up for me.”
“This seemingly innocent remark suggests you are not going to bed at the same time, a habit that can be damaging to your relationship”, said Wahlgast.
“You should view shared bedtime as a way to strengthen your connection with your partner — it’s a powerful form of physical intimacy, with or without sex,” she said. “Saying OK to separate bedtimes enables behaviors that destroy intimacy, such as solitary porn-watching and flirty messaging with friends or co-workers.”
So if you’re partner wants to stand there with the light on for you, let them. It’s a way of expressing love too. Let them.
Talk to me
Has someone said any or all of these things to you? How did it make you feel? Let me know in the comments down below!
Source for quotes: Huffingtonpost