The first thing I would like to mention before getting into this article is that perfect relationships DO NOT exist, this isn’t a fairy tale, it’s real life and with that comes a lot of “real” feelings and events that may make you think your relationship is suffering but it isn’t, it’s just life, it’s natural and you’ll be able to be in a strong and successful relationship as soon as you realize nothing’s perfect (not even two people who think they’re perfect for each other). Simply put, relationships are not easy, relationships require a lot of effort from both sides at a constant rate. We aren’t talking about flings here, we are talking about emotions, purity, the need of the other person, a true and strong relationship. I was provoked to write this piece when a friend of mine came to me asking for help, he was going through a very minor fight with his girlfriend and he wanted to know if it’s normal, because they’d been together for over two years and he thought fights aren’t a normal part of relationships. Do you sometimes wonder if your relationship is suffering? Then continue reading on as I explain the 10 habits of a successful couple and these are the things you should already be doing, if not, start doing them for yourself and your partner. So sit back, relax, maybe grab a cub of your favorite coffee and let’s begin.
10. Love & cherish each other’s differences
Happiness in a relationship is achieved when you’re interdependent with each other, when you learn each other’s differences and cherish them for each and every one of those differences. As always, I’ll speak about myself here because I don’t like giving out general examples and I like being personal with you guys. Me and my lady, we are very happy together, but we do have an insane amount of differences. I, for one, watch a lot of TV shows that she just simply despises. Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Mad Men etc. are just to name a few. We don’t have the same eye for colors either, I’ve studied Color Theory so whenever we go shopping, I start telling her why certain color would look good on her, but her taste in color is completely different, so I let her shop on her own grounds. These differences are why I actually love her so much, because she’s proud of her differences and I’m proud of her for not trying to change for me.
I guess we are at a point where we don’t really have to say it, that comfortable silence is insanely hard to achieve with someone. We know just how crazy we both are and we love each other for it. You should NEVER try changing yourself for anyone, find someone who loves you for how they found you and not what they can mold you into.
9. Check with yourself before “assuming”
Ever notice how the word “assuming” starts off with “ass”? That’s because you immediately become an “ass” if you assume too much without giving it any reasonable justification. Assumptions are very harmful for every relationship because they act like a slow-acting poison, they start off being harmless but they slowly damage the relationship from its core and finally get strong enough to cause major issues between you and your partner. Your partner hasn’t been in your shoes, they can’t really know the pain you’ve suffered in the past (even though they try to), they can’t empathize with you on your past because you’re the one who suffered it all. I’ll try explaining this better with an example.
You all know I went through a very difficult past, so it’s safe to say that I’m a little too sensitive about some things that my girlfriend would deal very normally with. Now what do I do in these situations? Do I start assuming that my girlfriend doesn’t have any feelings? Do I assume that she can’t “feel for me”? Or, if we kick it up a notch, do I start assuming that she doesn’t truly love me because she can’t be sensitive about the things I’m sensitive about? No, just NO! I know she isn’t sensitive about certain things that I take a little too seriously because she never went through that pain, so I can’t burden her with the weights of my past and I need to learn that she thinks the same way about certain things too. Assumptions are bad, give each other enough room to breathe if you trust them enough and don’t assume. – Continue reading on next page