10 Reasons Why I’m Not Afraid Of Being Single, I’m Afraid Of Dating

A Posted 7 months ago
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I don’t fear sleeping alone in a bed at night, I fear sleeping with someone who isn’t worthy of me

We have got to get rid of the stigma of loneliness. Solitude isn’t as bad as people make it out to be and there are lots of individuals who relish in some good old alone time. In fact, there is no denying that a lot of us will be pathetic enough to persist in bad and destructive relationships out of fear of being alone. No one should ever have to endure a toxic relationship under any circumstance; not especially when being single is a perfectly acceptable alternative.

The fear of being cast as a loner has led a huge lot of us to settle for relationships and romantic entanglements that are beneath us. We allow ourselves to be deceived by the lie that being in a crappy relationship is a lot better than just being single.

I am lucky enough to be a different kind of person. I’m the kind of person who is perfectly comfortable with being alone. I’m also the kind of person who is unafraid of a life of solitude, but is afraid of a life of misery in a dysfunctional relationship.

I’m the kind of person who trembles at the thought of letting myself be vulnerable. I dread the idea of setting myself up for heartbreak by dating other people. I don’t want to open myself up to predators because I am such an easy prey. It may seem like I have such a pessimistic view of love, but sometimes, the pessimistic view is what’s real. And I just like to keep things real.

1. I don’t fear sleeping alone in a bed at night, I fear sleeping with someone who isn’t worthy of me.

Sex is a big deal to me. It always has to be a magical and intimate experience with someone special. However, I can live without sex as long as I’m assured that I don’t have to give my body to someone who isn’t deserving of what I have to offer.

2. I don’t fear eating at a restaurant alone, I fear having to endure a boring conversation with someone over dinner.

Dining alone really isn’t going to be an issue with me. What I dread the most is having to put up with a boring date with whom I share nothing in common. I can only endure so much small talk.

3. I don’t fear not getting some action in the bedroom, I fear a bad sexual experience.

Again, as previously stated, all sexual encounters should be magical experiences. Anything less than magical would be a severe disappointment. I can get my pleasure from other aspects of life. 

4. I don’t fear waking up alone, I fear waking up with a stranger beside me.

My bed is mine alone, and I’m perfectly fine with that fact. I really don’t mind waking up alone. What I do mind is waking up in my bed with a stranger as a result of reckless drinking and regrets.

5. I don’t fear not getting any text messages, I fear having to wait for a message that isn’t coming.

When you’re in a relationship, there are so many things you have to keep up with. You have to share parts of yourself to another person in the hopes that you don’t end up broken. Part of this is expecting constant communication from your partner. Well, I carry no expectations from anyone and am therefore immune to disappointments.

6. I don’t fear being my carefree self, I fear being with a person who doesn’t make me comfortable with being myself.

A lot of times, due to the pressures of pleasing the people we’re with, we feel the need to suppress who we really are out of fear of being judged. I don’t fear being judged because no one owns me. I owe it to myself to only be my truest self at all times.

7. I don’t fear not having a plus one to events, I fear having to explain to people why the last one didn’t last.

I’ve been there before. I’ve had to explain to friends and family in the past why the guy I brought to the last party wasn’t the same guy I brought to the next one. Relationships end, and it can be embarrassing to explain. Nowadays, I’m no longer embarrassed because all I have to bring is myself. 

8. I don’t fear having to juggle my friendships, I fear having to give them up for someone who isn’t worth it.

A lot of times, when in relationships, we will be put in the awkward position of having to choose between our partners and our friends. I don’t have to worry about being put in that position at all. I pick and choose my friends as I see fit.

9. I don’t fear being seen as a cold person, I fear opening myself up to pain.

People can label me whatever they want, but they will never own me. They can’t penetrate my core. I know for a fact that I am strong, and being in a relationship will only highlight my weaknesses.

10. I don’t fear being lonely, I fear being in a relationship where I feel alone.

There’s no denying that being in a relationship doesn’t assure someone of genuine companionship. A lot of us are still left feeling alone despite the promises of the union.

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What is your fear of being in love? Let me know in the comments below!