“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”
– Paulo Coelho
It is good to have hope even in the most trying of circumstances. When you’re going through a rough patch in your relationship, hope can be like ray of sunshine peeping through dark and stormy clouds. But it is important to differentiate between a rough patch and a relationship that does not leave the pits of darkness. During such times, we try our best to understand our partner, and keep the relationship going. All the while not realising that what we’re actually doing is forcing ourselves to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved. Sometimes it’s best to let go. Here are 10 signs that indicate you’re forcing love where there is none.
1. You have to work hard at persuasion
There is no harm in having excellent persuasion skills. In fact, I encourage it. Similarly, having a reward based system is great too if that’s what works for you. “You do the dishes,” you tell him, “I’ll treat you in ways beyond your imagination in the bedroom.” But when you are constantly having to make an inordinate amount of effort to persuade someone to do something that shouldn’t require such effort, then something is not quite right. Having to bend over backwards just to gain someone’s approval, threatening someone in order to get them to comply, and growing accustomed to rejection are all indicative of a relationship that’s being forced.
2. You make all the compromises
You generally do what he/she likes, you go out when he/she likes, you even work your career around his/her needs. You are so used to hearing ‘no’ for most things, you’ve grown weary of even thinking of what you would like to do. Sacrificing your happiness has become the norm in your relationship. You even quit hanging out with your friends because he/she does not approve. Perhaps he/she is jealous, perhaps insecure, but you’re slowly having to give your happiness up bit by bit and compromise on everything that is important to you to keep your relationship afloat. *Continue reading on next page*