10 signs you aren’t in an actual relationship even though you think you are

Misty Renee Posted a year ago
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It's not a relationship, please open your eyes!

Sometimes, when you’re in a relationship, when all of your thoughts are clouded by how much you love your partner, and when you just can’t seem to think rationally about things, then it becomes hard to judge if your partner actually is on the same page as you. You tend to turn a blind eye towards all the warning signs, the signs that are just screaming at you to notice how things aren’t exactly working out. You tend to form delusions about how perfect your relationship is. And you tend to ignore the people who try to tell you otherwise, the people who are just trying to look out for you.

Stop acting irrational. Stop letting yourself get blinded by love. Stop making up excuses for why things are getting weird. And even if you have the slightest bit of doubt about your relationship, then don’t ignore it and take a look at these warning signs to confirm if your relationship isn’t actually as great as it seems in your mind:

1. Just one of you is interested in discussing the future

When you’re in a committed relationship, then you tend to have a mutual understanding or some kind of discussion about what lies in the future for both of you. This doesn’t have to happen at the very start of a relationship but if you have spent even a couple of months together, then some indication of what the future lies for your relationship should be present from both sides. You should know whether your partner considers you a permanent part of their life or a temporary one. You should know if they actually take your existence into consideration before taking important life decisions or not. And you should know if all the effort, time, and commitment that you’re placing in this relationship will ever amount to something.

So take out a moment and try to recall all the conversations you’ve ever had with your partner. Think about that time you hinted at some plan in the future and remember what their reaction was. Think about the decisions they had to take about their life and whether they ever tried to include you in them. Think about whether they’ve ever talked about having you in their life in the near or distant future. If all those thoughts just made you feel like your partner always avoids questions about the future, has no consideration of this relationship in terms of their life plans, and has never talked about spending more than the next few days with you, then they’re probably not in it for the long run. 

2. Just one of you tries to keep in touch

It’s not necessary to spend every waking minute of your lives together. It’s not necessary to meet each other every day or even every week. And it’s not even necessary to force yourself into taking on the phone all day and staying connected even when you have completely run out of things to discuss.

But in your daily routines, when you’re both busy, when you’re caught up in your own individual work and lives, and when you feel like you don’t have any time to spare, it still doesn’t hurt to send your partner a simple text just to let them know that you’re thinking of them. It doesn’t hurt to call them for a minute just to check up on how they’re doing. And it doesn’t hurt to make an effort to keep in touch. If you feel like you’re the only one who tries to check in or catch up or even send a simple “Hi”, then your partner probably doesn’t care that much if you’re around or not.

3. Just one of you actually misses the other

You can’t really question a person on how much they miss you. You can’t really inquire from them the number of times that they thought of you in the day or felt like talking to you when they couldn’t. You can’t call them out or get angry if they’re busy with some work and they couldn’t manage the time to message or call you. You can’t do all those things but you can still manage to get a rough idea of how they actually feel when you’re not around. This can be seen in the way they react when you finally give in and tell them how much you miss them.

So think about it! Are you constantly messaging them things like, “I miss you so much” and “Wish you were here” but all their replies (in the rare case that you actually get one) always seem very casual or even forced, sometimes? Then maybe it’s time to realize that your partner wasn’t really that busy in the first place, and that maybe they didn’t really feel the need to initiate a conversation because they were perfectly happy in your absence. - Continue reading on next page