A relationship is about two people being together, being happy with one another, helping each other grow, making each other strong, facing each other's problems head on. A relationship is not supposed to change a person to the point where that person isn't the same anymore, a relationship is definitely not supposed to suck out all of the happiness from your life. This article is going to focus on the 10 most important things you certainly can not let go of because of your relationship.
10. Your Self Respect
We all need to learn to respect ourselves before we can respect others. A relationship should have a very strong bond of respect and love. You and your partner need to respect each other equally and greatly. You can NEVER let go of your self respect because of your partner no matter what the case may seem. If you feel like you aren't respected enough in your partner's eyes, talk to them about it, tell them you deserve more and tell them you aren't going to give up your self respect in lieu of your relationship. Never sell your respect out for the sake of keeping a relationship together, a relationship so weak from the beginning can never have a future.
9. Your Close Friends
Now this point might be a little controversial. I'm the kind of guy who thinks society is not important and you can never let anyone judge you or your partner for whatever reason. This point isn't about people, it's about your "close friends". We all have friends, people we say hi to every now and then, but we also have a small group of people who are always there for us, who know us inside and out, who are always available when we need them, these people are our "close friends". No matter what the scenario may be, you should not and can not let go of your close friends for the sake of your relationship. If your partner can not see how important they are for you, you are probably not important enough for them. If they can ask you to leave your close friends today, they might ask you to leave something more critical next, so do not let that happen.
8. Your Personal Space
Being in a relationship does not, in any way, mean that you need to be stuck to each other like glue every second of every day. Yes, it is highly important to be an active part of each other's lives, but it is drastically unhealthy to be clingy to one another. There's a huge difference between clingy and being in love. We all need boundaries. We all need that private time when we don't talk to anyone but our own minds. That little safe haven is very important for our sanities. Being in love does not mean giving up your personal space. If you let each other take that out of the relationship, you'll be confused about your own individualities in the future.
7. Your Happiness
As I said before, relationships are meant to bring happiness in your lives. You can not let the sorrows of your relationships overpower the happiness you have in your lives. If you reach that point where you let your relationship suck out the happiness out of your life, you'll be stuck in limbo. You'll be confused. You'll be in a relationship where you'll keep figuring out what's wrong or who is at fault when in reality it'll be your own fault for letting that happen. If you can't seem to be happy with your partner, figure out a way to be happy or decide to move on.
6. Your Individuality
I've seen a lot of couples break up because one person wanted the other to change into a completely different person. Because one of them was so involved in their self-egotistical notions that they couldn't stop and see the damage they were causing to their partners. Your individuality is like your fingerprint, unique. You can not let the uniqueness from yourself be taken out for the sake of love, that isn't love. You are awesome just the way you are, if anyone tells you that you need to change maybe you need to change the person you're with.
5. Your Ability To Make Decisions
Yes, we all rely on our partners with the big decisions we take. This does not mean we slowly let them decide so much that we lose our ability to make decisions for ourselves. Your decisions can be aided and enhanced by your partners, but they are still YOURS to make! I rely on my girlfriend more than I should, but I love it. I ask for her insight in every big decision I make, but this does NOT mean that I stop thinking, that I stop using my mind to make my own decisions.
4. Your Family
This isn't a movie, this is real life. If you are selfish enough to leave your family just because of your partner, you will never be happy in life. You can not, and I mean CAN NOT, leave the people who fed you, the people who put clothes on your backs, the people who worked night and day to make sure you have everything you need, the people who are happy with your happiness and get sad when they see you sad, these are the people who will be with you no matter what! My ex is my ex today because she didn't like my mother, not because my mother was being hard on her or anything, she just didn't like my mother because and I quote "your mom doesn't like my jokes". At first I thought she was kidding, but I found out that she started having fights with my mom for no apparent reason. I'm certainly not the type of man to put any other woman above my mother, she gave birth to me, she fed me, she made me into the man I am today. My mother always told me to respect women no matter what. And I certainly could not see my mother being treated badly by a girl who thinks my mother isn't important enough to me.
3. Your Freedom
We all are free spirits of the world, living our lives and trying our best to live as happily as we can. Birds are meant to fly and should not be caged, similarly, we are free people. Your freedom is a very precious gift of life, you can never let go of it for anyone. A relationship is only supposed to enhance that freedom. A relationship is not meant to chain you up and lock you down. A relationship is not supposed to make you feel suffocated like you're locked in a room without any doors and windows. If you feel trapped, it's time to set yourself free!
2. Your Need To Be Understood
Trust me, there is nothing more intimate than being completely understood by your better half. The feeling of being understood is so beautiful and romantic, no other feeling can take its place. We all need someone who can understand us, who won't judge us for who we are. We all need someone who just knows. They look at our faces and can tell if something is wrong. That feeling is the most incredible thing I've ever felt in my life.
1. Your Inner Peace
This is going to get a little personal but that's how I am with you guys, I don't mind talking about my life as long as I can make your lives easier. My ex, the one I mentioned in the beginning of this article, was so bad with me and cheated on me so many times that I forgot how it was to be happy. I completely lost faith in relationships and I didn't know what inner peace meant anymore. The constant stress and the infinite feeling of being cheated on was just traumatic, I can never explain this in words without having tears in my eyes. I tried forgiving her and after two months of fighting myself, I finally did. But even are forgiving her, I had that weird feeling in my heart that I am going to get cheated on again. I felt powerless, I felt scared, I felt alone and helpless. To cut this short, I eventually got cheated on again. That's when I realized that all the pain from the past wasn't worth anything to her and she just couldn't help but hurt me some more. I decided to have mercy on myself and broke up with her. To this day, I love my inner peace and I would never let that go away because of anyone, I hope you guys know how important that is.
That does it for this article. Like always, I write from the heart and I try my best to make sure you guys like my work. Let me know in the comments below if you have anything to add or even if you just want to say hi. Thank you for reading. Stay blessed and keep the love alive!