1. You secretly wish that every new guy you meet will be as hopelessly weird as you.
2. You sometimes wonder whether it’s even possible for your grumpy self to meet a significant other.
3. And even if you do meet them, you wouldn’t really know what to do to make them stay.
4. Any people you’ve ever liked were figments of your own imagination.
5. Dating just isn’t your thing. For one reason or the other, it never works out.
6. Why do I even bother to dress up and look good?
7. Envying all the happy couples on your newsfeed while stuffing your face with food is basically your life in a nutshell.
8. Maybe it’s time to accept that the odds just aren’t in your favor.
9. Deep down inside, you know the best relationship you can actually have is with food.
10. But it’s okay. You’re saving some poor guy from being second in importance to your adorable pet.