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  • 11 signs you are not ready to be in a relationship

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    A friend of mine made me write this article, she’s in a tough spot because she is single for the past six months and she started feeling bad for herself. She thought that just because she’s single, she couldn’t be happy anymore, so she tried rushing into a few relationships which ended badly. This article is for everyone who rush into relationships, relationships happen naturally, they can’t be rushed or forced. If any of these red flags strike a nerve with you, be single until you can properly find yourself. These are the signs to tell whether you’re ready for a relationship or not. Let’s begin.

    11. YOU’RE NOT HAPPY

    A lot of people think relationships are a way to happiness, well that’s not completely true. It depends on the place you are in life before you think about relationships being the source of happiness. If you are someone who is unhappy about life, relationships can NOT make you happy. You’ll only be burdening the other person and taking their happiness away out of sheer selfish needs to be happy yourself.

    If you’re unhappy with yourself or your life, you need to work on yourself. You need to be a happy person on your own before you can get into a commitment with someone. When you’re a happy person, your partner will be happy just by being around you, you two can share each other’s happiness for a much healthier relationship. Work on yourself, enjoy life and start loving yourself before you can love another.

    10. YOU STILL THINK ABOUT YOUR EX

    Do you often find yourself thinking about your ex? Do you miss him/her? Do you have certain triggers that instantly remind you of them? Then you’re definitely not ready for a new relationship. Your past is yours alone, you cannot and should not carry that baggage into someone else’s life who expect to have all of your love and attention

    You won’t be able to be fair with someone new if the thoughts of your ex still haunt you. Having a rebound is always a definite no, because you just can’t play with someone’s life and feelings like that. It’s always better to wait it out and deal with all of your past feelings and get proper closure before you dive into a new commitment.

    9. YOU’RE MORE THAN “TOO BUSY”

    If you can hardly take time out for your own self, you should not promise someone else your time. If you are a very busy person, who can’t even take enough time out for friends and family, you’ll only be making your own life harder by being in a relationship.

    Make time for yourself, take time out, fix your timings and work hours, have a proper and healthy schedule, make sure your family and friends are happy with the time you give them, and finally you can share your time with someone you want to live with. You definitely can’t tell anyone “I love you” one day and tell them “I’m busy” the next, nobody is completely free in this world and relationships are all about setting your priorities straight.

    8. YOU’RE UNSURE OF YOUR FEELINGS

    So you recently asked someone out, or someone asked you out and you said yes. If you find yourself thinking of reasons why you love them or why you are with them, you shouldn’t. You don’t need reasons to love, it’s natural and it “JUST HAPPENS”.

    It’s a feeling that is just right, it’s a beautiful feeling of perfection that can never be explained with mere words and actions. If you’re unsure of your feelings, take some personal time and think about why you’re unsure and find a solution for yourself.

    7. YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES

    All of us develop a lot of trust issues at one point in time based on our past experiences, we all go through “Trust Experiences” that make us either give up on trust completely or be very cautious of how and who we trust. But life isn’t as bad as we think, life has ups and downs. We often let our downs hurt us a little too much.

    It’s my personal experience that’s making me write so strongly, I was once a guy who couldn’t imagine trusting another person ever in my life, because of what happened to me but then I met a few good people who made me regain my faith in trust. The girl I’m with is one of the biggest examples of trusting someone blindly and I’ve never been happier. So if you have trust issues, work on yourself, regain hope in trust, do not commit to someone if you’re going to kill them with insecurities.

    6. YOU WANT A SAVIOR

    Relationships can’t save you, they can’t take you out of a bad life, they can’t fix all of your problems, relationships aren’t for people with selfish needs. You, and only you, can save yourself and bring yourself out of the traumas you’re currently facing. Once you’re out of all of your problematic situations and you don’t need a savior anymore, THAT is when you commit to someone.

    5. YOU LOVE DRAMA

    You need to be a pure and simple person before you can share a life with somone. I’ve had a few friends who were all about dramatic situations (notice how I said “HAD”), simply put, people who love drama don’t get too far in life and end up being alone and sad. If you’re someone who loves drama, you’re going to bring a lot of it into your relationship, and relationships get completely ruined because of all the drama. Be a simple and loving person, don’t fret about other people, don’t feel interested in everyone else’s problems and just focus on making your own life more beautiful.

    4. YOU THINK RELATIONSHIPS ARE EVERYTHING

    If you think relationships are everything in life, you’re wrong and definitely not ready to be in one. Relationships are meant to enhance your life, not BE your life. You need to be a person who’s happy without the need to be in a relationship, be selfless, be complete, only then should you think about sharing your life with someone else.

    3. YOU WANT TO SAVE SOMEONE

    Do NOT just dive into a relationship because you think you can make someone happy or change their life. Just as you shouldn’t expect to be saved, you can’t be someone’s savior either. If you commit to someone solely because you want to save them, there’s a very big chance of them not being saved in the end.

    2. YOU WANT TO CHANGE FOR OTHERS

    NEVER be in a relationship that expects you to change everything about yourself and be a completely new person. A healthy relationship can make you leave your bad habits, but it never makes you forget your individuality and it embraces your personality wholeheartedly. If you feel like you’re getting involved with someone who’s going to probably ask you to change a lot of things about who you are, don’t fall for them and stay single until you can find someone who can completely embrace you for the beautiful person you are.

    1. YOU ARE DESPERATE

    This is probably one of the biggest reasons for failed relationships. You just can’t be a desperate person. People who are desperate give off a very negative vibe, they aren’t liked by most people and they usually get into flings that make them guilty later. Someone may actually have feelings for you and being desperate might push them away because it’s a very unattractive feature to have. Even if someone likes you for being desperate, they’re very wrong for you because they’re desperate themselves. Be content, be happy with who you are and where you are in life, let love come on its own, don’t run after it.

    That does it for this one, hope you guys learned from it. If you guys have anything to add, please comment below. As always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!

    – A.

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