Married people will understand.
Up until some time ago, I would get ecstatic each time the boy I liked took interest in me enough to ask me out to a rock concert of his choice or the food court at the mall. I would think about what I would wear, what I would say, what we'd do, and before I knew it, I'd have our future together all planned out, including the names of our dogs as well as our kids. No exaggeration. Well, that sort of thing isn't entirely unheard of. Austen said so, remember? "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." But little unborn Miriam and Michelle are a thing of the past. Just like the boys I once dated. And I'm glad I did date them, because all those 'bad boys' or call them what you will, have taught me that there is a world of difference between them and the man who would genuinely care for me. And it is because of all these disastrous relationships that I can spot those dissipated Lotharios a mile away. So, do please allow me to share that wisdom with the rest of you ladies.
- The boy you date only wants to hook up with you. That usually encompasses anything and everything from going to a rock concert to a friend's place where you two could 'get to know each other better.'
The man you marry asks you out on a real date, someplace you two would genuinely appreciate and enjoy.
- The boy you date is unsure of what he plans to make of his life. He is indecisive and ambivalent at best.
The man you marry is very clear about what he wants out of his life. His single-minded determination to achieve predetermined goals promises to take him further. He is purposeful and self-assured; qualities that you may see in several aspects of his life.
- The boy you date has a few ideas of a perfect conversation, some of which include sharing anecdotes of that time he and his ex got so drunk that [insert mildly, oft repeated funny drunk story], talking about himself and how 'awesome' (yes, I did just use that word; situation demanded it, don't you think?) he thinks his life is, or just about anything other than a meaningful discussion.
The man you marry endeavors to listen more than speak. He can carry his end of the conversation with flair and wit, and isn't afraid of profound yet relevant discussions. He likes asking you about you, and isn't averse to uncomfortable but significant dialogue.
- The boy you date avoids confrontations like the plague. He'd much rather sweep issues under a rug and never have to go through the 'unpleasant' task of talking it out. This is a major warning sign - get out while you can.
The man you marry is understanding of disagreements and arguments, willing to sit down and exchange views and not leave matters go unresolved.
- The boy you date is overly concerned about your appearance. He would employ a somewhat mocking tone to dismiss you for not taking care more often about your looks, leading to you forever feeling self-conscious and ill at ease around him. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
The man you marry understands that you needn't spend forty-five minutes blow-drying your hair each time you have to see him. He knows that hair is a part of your body, and doesn't demand a Brazilian, with his carefully contrived easy manner, every time you spend the night together. In short, he doesn't mind your bad hair days and wants you for you rather than your appearance.