There was a time when him getting the door was something that impressed a girl or him being polite enough to offer his seat to a girl was considered as the true qualities of a man, but not anymore. Sadly, the dating trends have been changing and drastically developing so much so that it is hard to keep chivalry alive. Men and women are jumping into relationships, casual relationships, one night stands, booty calls and what not. We have made ‘hooking up’ easier than ‘starting a conversation’. Really? When did it become harder to open our mouths and utter something nice?
The game of wooing the opposite sex is so much more mystical and exciting if you have to win them over with efforts and not just by offering them to spend a night with them.
Even though chivalry is not the popular way nowadays, I still think someone who really wants a serious relationship does eventually come down to chivalry and basic etiquettes of the person. When it’s a matter of spending their lives with someone, they would never choose a man who is a jerk otherwise but great in bed.
That’s why chivalry is really the long lasting way to someone’s life! Here is why chivalry is dead in the first place and what needs to be done to give chivalry its true importance. There are only two basic reasons;
1. WHY GO THROUGH THE PAIN OF ALL THAT CHIVALRY WHEN YOU CAN GET SOMEONE JUST LIKE THAT?
You might be able to get someone temporarily but for that person to last in your life longer, you will need to show respect, you will need to make them feel special, you will need to show them you care. Charm and good looks can only last for some time but a man who shows his partner that he is all that she needs is the real deal.
Getting the door for your girl doesn’t make you less of a man, helping her out to lift something doesn’t make you her slave, taking care of her doesn’t make you submissive and pampering her doesn’t make you less cool. In fact, all of these things are exactly what will help you to find a real woman.
Also, don’t do it for the sake of getting someone, do it because that is a nice way to be. Respecting someone will only make you earn respect. Caring for someone will only make others care for you even more, being there as a shield would give you numerous praises in return. Be a nice chivalrous guy because you can be one! Set an example where chivalry is dying.
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2. WOMEN HAVE STARTED GIVING THEMSELVES AWAY FOR SMALLER THINGS
Unfortunately, women have become easy. A night at the club and you found someone you are casually dating and sleeping with. You might not even know this guy’s last name! Women have encouraged men to concentrate on more material things than basic morals and etiquettes. Women have chosen gifts over a homemade meal, expensive cars over a walk on the beach, good looks over good manners. Women have shown men what they want and that is why they now do what is being appreciated.
According to a friend of mine:
If we really want our men to be more chivalrous we need to reinforce the efforts that they make rather than the things the buy for us because in the end when a man disrespects you, your body, your thoughts, nothing really matters to you. You’d be sitting in between all the gifts he has gotten you and you would still be crying over how he treated you. From there, there will be no going back because the damage has been done.
Though, what we can do is save the situation before it gets out of hands. Start appreciating men for their efforts and their thoughtful gestures. Even if you see a small kid being nice to a girl, encourage him! This way we can truly inculcate the true etiquettes a man should have in him!
Ladies, talk to me
Is your man chivalrous with you? Do you really think chivalry is dying? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!