When I was new to the relationship world, I once asked my mother some advice on how to find the right woman, she replied, "you need to concentrate on being the right man and stop "looking" for the right woman, when you've achieved your own goal, the right woman will come to you". That was the BEST relationship advice I'd ever gotten in my life because it's very true to everything. I thought I could work on myself later when I'm with the right person, it doesn't work that way. We only get what we deserve, and unless we mould ourselves into the best of people, we won't deserve the best. This story made me think I should write an article on simplicity and ease, so this is going to be some very sound and heartfelt advice on the things you NEED to do to uncomplicate yourself and ultimately uncomplicate your relationship. I hope you guys like it. Let's begin.
29. It all starts with you, respecting yourself
I've said this more times than I can remember because it's one of the hardest lessons I've learned in life, respect and love are two things you need to give YOURSELF before anyone else. Before you even think about being in a relationship, you need to ask yourself a few questions: "Do I love myself?", "Do I completely respect myself?", "Am I satisfied with the decisions I make?", "Do I need to change something about myself or am I fine just the way I am?". Once you answer these questions to yourself, truthfully of course, you'll be on the road to self-discovery and self-love. By the end of the journey, you'll be stronger than ever. Trust me, I speak from experience.
28. Embrace Your Flaws
You should learn to embrace your flaws as much as your qualities because your flaws are a part of who you are. Once you truly embrace and accept your flaws whole-heartedly, no one can ever use them against you in any situation. Forgive yourself, love yourself and just simply be yourself! Your life's challenges begin and end with you, and that's the long and short of it.
27. Stop Competing With The World
Take life as it comes, one step at a time. Move at your own pace and do not try moving faster to please someone else or to beat someone else. You don't owe anything to anyone and they don't get to make you change the pace of your life, so take each day as it comes and stop trying to compete with the rest of the world, it doesn't matter. Make sure to just be happy with whatever you do and at whatever pace you do it. Self satisfaction is of the utmost importance!
26. Accept others for who they are
If you expect people to accept you for the person you are, you need to do the same to them. Don't try changing people, don't point out their flaws only and ignore their good qualities in the process. Be as nice to people as you can, even if they try hurting you. If you keep smiling while someone tries putting you down, they'll give up and stop because your smile is just that much powerful! Accept the people around you with all of their pros and cons and be accepted in the same way!
25. Don't be insensitive
If you don't have the habit of saying kind things to people, be quiet instead. The real way to success isn't being cold and ruthless, it's being as kind as you can with people because acts of kindness are never forgotten and are always returned with kindness. Don't be bitter, don't be cruel, don't be rude and be kinder than you can be with people.
24. Start showing love
Actions really do speak louder than words. Yes, saying "I love you" to someone does make them really happy, but it's on another level if your actions match your words in the same intensity that they're said! Appreciate them, give your utmost attention to them and be as affectionate as you can be. Do not think that by being sensitive and emotional you will seem weak, you won't.
23. Don't judge people
Like I said, you and only you know what's going on with your life and how good or bad it currently is. Only you can really feel the traumas of your past and present, nobody can ever walk in your shoes no matter how much they try empathizing with you. So try being the same with people in return, being judgemental is just wrong. People have their reasons, people have their own ups and downs and they like dealing with their situations in their own ways. Stop judging and start accepting and loving others! Likewise, stay away from people who have a habit of judging, you don't need that in your life.
22. Give importance to your actions
Never let yourself think that your actions aren't importance and have no meaning. You matter to people, people worry about you, your actions matter to them and you do whatever you can to put a smile on their faces. So don't think for one second that you're beneath anyone else in the world no matter where they might be in life, no matter how much money or fame they have, just give enough importance to your own actions and decisions.
21. Dark clouds are beautiful too
Do not let one little problem ruin your entire outlook on your life or your relationship. One dark cloud does not cover the whole sky, it doesn't hide the other clouds and it doesn't take over the beauty of it, it actually adds to the beauty of the sky overall! Don't think about the small stuff today and think of a better future, don't let minor things destroy your beautiful relationship.
20. Do not forget yourself
If you keep caring about everyone else and forget yourself in the process, you'll be lost in limbo and won't be able to come back. It's a good thing to care about others, but never let that affect the amount of care you have for yourself, always remember how important you are to yourself and always remind yourself of the importance and never let that image leave your mind!
19. You don't ALWAYS have to be right
You need to accept the fact that you're only human and you can make mistakes too, it's only natural. Never put yourself in such a difficult position that you think you can never make a mistake and you definitively always have to be right, none of us are that good and all of us have our flaws and imperfections. But that's what I'm talking about here, it's perfectly natural to be wrong too.
18. Think before you act
Before you take any action for someone, no matter how big or small, always ask yourself "Is this going to hurt them?" and then take the decision. Never intentionally do anything to hurt anyone or make anyone sad because of your own actions, karma has its way of finding you and when it hurts it really hurts! If you keep hurting someone again and again, you simply can't expect them to keep being with you in the same loving and respecting way.
17. Outer beauty is unimportant
You need to have a broader perspective on things, outer beauty and materialistic things have no importance whatsoever. Beauty fades away, money goes away, feelings stay forever. Give importance to their personality rather than how beautiful they are, they are more beautiful and good looking on the inside! People will have a very hard time being bad with you if you treat them this way, because you actually know their true worth!
16. The little things are important
Those of us who appreciate the little things are going to go very far in life. It takes a lot of love to actually see the little efforts people put in their actions for you and when you completely appreciate them for those small gestures of kindness, it's the biggest thank you you can offer them in return. Always appreciate the little things. If anyone genuinely cares for you, NEVER ignore their care and return it ten fold!
15. Be patient with others
It's very easy for people to tell them they care about you, but it's much much harder for people to be patient with you and wait for you because of the decisions you make. Be as patient as you can with others, especially your significant other. Let them move at their own pace and don't try micromanaging them in any way, be as supportive and patient as you possibly can.
14. Lift others up
You need to start using your actions and your voice to lift up others. Be as positive as you can, a person who projects a positive aura is always surrounded by people who need the positivity because they're already poisoned with a lot of negativity. So people will enjoy being around you if you have a naturally uplifting attitude, trust me it works.
13. Don't take things too seriously
No matter what someone does, especially your significant other, try not taking it too personally. Their actions are based on their thoughts, try getting to the bottom of things before you start taking things to heart. Maybe they're hurting and they just don't want to appear weak so they are trying to cope with it by having a negative attitude towards you, let them know it's okay and let them know you're there for them and they can count on you.
12. Let small mistakes go
As I mentioned earlier in this article, it's only natural to make small mistakes every now and then because none of us are without flaws and weaknesses. You should let honest mistakes slide and don't make them change your entire outlook on your relationship or your life. Put yourself in their position and don't make any hasty decisions.
11. Don't be dramatic
You don't need anyone else's drama in your life when you yourself have a life to worry about and to nurture. You don't need to be someone who constantly gossips about everything bad going on in someone's life when your own life is in turmoil and is being constantly ignored. Pay attention to your own life and fix your own problems and don't think about other people's lives.
10. Ask for forgiveness
You may not think it, but people are actually very forgiving. If you've made mistakes in the past and you haven't asked for forgiveness, you need to. Don't expect them to forgive you right away, but ask for it and let them take their own decision at their own pace. Even if they don't forgive you, at least you confessed to being wrong and asked them to forgive you. You're actually being the bigger man here, it's not easy to ask for forgiveness. And trust me, you WILL be forgiven in the end.
9. Keep realistic expectations
Don't let unrealistic expectations ruin your beautiful realtionship, We often let unjust and unfair expectations get in the way of our relationships and we hurt our partners in a way that's near to irreversible. Simply put, never expect them to do anything that you wouldn't want them to expect from you.
8. Be honest
You've probably heard this a thousand times before but honesty truly IS the best policy. I live by these words because I've never been happier in my life ever since I started being completely honest with people. Keep in mind, you may start losing some of the "friends" when they see your honest side, but they weren't supposed to stay in the first place. Be honest, be open, speak your mind and you will be surrounded by like-minded people.
7. Stop being around demeaning people
You don't need to be around people whose only goal in life is to demean you and belittle you as much as they possibly can. Be around people who love you for who you are and who accept you with open arms. Don't be around people who can't do anything but criticize your every step and give their own opinions on them on how you could've done something much better if you followed their methods. Be around positive people and uplifting people.
6. You don't need approvals
I want you to stand in front of a mirror and say "I am who I am, I know who I am, I love myself for who I am, I do NOT need your approval!". People who truly love you, won't need to approve you or ask to be approved by you, they will be natural with you and comfortable with you, the real you.
5. Stop saying "yes" all the time
If you don't mean it, don't say "yes". You have your own opinions and you don't have to change them just to fit in or seem easy. You can say "no" if you feel like the point actually is wrong, don't just say "yes" if you don't mean it. Say what you mean and mean what you say!
4. Communicate better
Communication is the key to every great and long lasting relationship. Be amazing with your words, be expressive, communicate as much as you can. If you don't like something your partner did, tell them openly, don't keep it inside to explode on them later.
3. Life isn't all about "YOU"
People in the most successful relationships are those who always put others needs before their own. Don't be the person who always asks "What am I going to get out of this?" before you do something good for someone. Be completely selfless if you want to be completely happy. Never make yourself always want to be the center of attention.
2. Be a true person
You need to kick these words out of your dictionary: "cheating", "lying", "deception". Be kind, be gentle, be loyal and true to the people who are important to you or you'll just be kicking them out of your life yourself.
1. Don't overthink
Overthinking is one of the worst conditions you can put yourself in. Don't put more mind on a situation than needed. Overthinking will only make you sad and lonely in the long run. Make quick decisions and let small things go without spending hours pondering over them.
That does it for this article, I hope you guys have better and healthier lives because of it. If you have anything to add to this, please feel free to comment below. As always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!