It’s good to imagine someone who will fall for us and for whom we will fall head over heels. It is exciting to further imagine that you both will be completely happy without having an argument ever in your relationship. It becomes impossibly fascinating that we will eventually marry them and live happily ever after.

Relationships don’t happen like that. We aren’t coming out of a best-selling novel where people act like pros at having a relationship. Getting in a relationship is like learning how to ride a bicycle, you fall many times before you finally learn how to drive it smoothly.

Some are naturally capable to understand and learn quickly, some take their own time to learn. One more thing is common in the two, probably the most important. In the efforts to learn the person who gets bruised and hurt the most is us. We fall and get up, we bump into something and try again, and we lose balance but try and get back up.

Same is the case with relationships, we go through our own fair share of failed attempts to finally learn a few lessons. These lessons are the most important lessons and they teach us to hold a dignified yet a loving and giving position in our relationships.

Here are the few harsh lessons that taught me how to be what I am today. For those who are still figuring out, maybe this will help you.


You can never expect someone to be true to you if you can’t be true to yourself. Lying to your own self is automatically lying to your partner. We often do things that we don’t feel like doing but still go ahead because you feel like you can’t put forward your point of view. We often lie to our partners about small habits or our past just so we are liked more by our partner.

Here, we don’t realise that we are being dishonest, pretending to be like someone will only get us as far as we can uphold that delusion. Once we run out of patience, we will start showing our true selves, no one can really pretend all their lives.