The time it takes for someone to move on from liking to loving often happens quickly and quietly. You don’t even realise till it’s happened so when you start liking someone and think you might be developing feelings further, it is time for you to stop and have a talk with your own self to know if you are really ready and if you are making the right decision to be with him.
We often get into relationships with people, thinking that they are just for fun and you won’t let yourself get too attached with them. We judge them according to that temporary setting we have prepared for them in our heads, but many times we get too attached with these people and what might seem perfect for a short period of time in our lives could actually be entirely opposite for long-term.
Thus, I believe, when you really find someone you can see yourself settling down with, only then entertain the thought of being with them or if you feel you are starting to get serious about this person, here are a few questions to ask yourself to give you a reality check.
1. DO THEY MAKE YOU HAPPY MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE?
It is simple and the most important question of all the four questions. Do you feel happy around them or just the thought of them fills your heart with warmth and happiness or do they fill it with other negative feelings?
Trust me, the feeling you get instantly when you take their name is the one that your really feel. If it is good then great for the two of you, if not, it is better that you let this thing go.
2. ARE THEY EQUALLY SERIOUS ABOUT YOU?
Are you both on the same page? Because that is a killer. Make sure, before you fall for someone, they also feel the same way about you. If not, it will leave you feeling used and not valued enough. Whereas the only truth is that you both started on the first page, you decided to move on to the second page while your partner still wanted to be on the first. Save yourself the hurt and your partner the guilt of not moving forward too quickly.
You can even talk to them about it if it confuses you. Getting a straight answer from them would really help you in deciding if you want to go on with this feeling or need to stop your heart from feeling that way immediately.
3. CAN YOU GO BEYOND THE SHORTCOMINGS OF THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM?
An extremely realistic approach towards love explains that love is not really the things you like in someone, initially it might be in the long run its all about the set of things you can comply with. For example, few people find it extremely hard to be in a relationship with someone who likes to stay quiet and likes to spend at least an hour by themselves but some might also find that easy to compromise on while other things might seem bigger
So really ask yourself about whatever problems you both have at the moment.В Can you deal with those problems all your life?
4. CAN YOU BE YOUR TRUE SELF WITH THEM?
We all pretend to be a little more of this and a little bit of that. Perfectly normal during the initial days but you will eventually come back to your normal self.
You can’t pretend to be someone you are not all your life, no matter how hard you try. So observe yourself and analyse yourself. With the flaws and shortcomings, will they love you? Also, are you comfortable enough to let these walls around you fall?В Can you tell them of all of the dark corners of your life?
If you can, and they can understand, it’s time you get serious about each other.
Talk to me
Do you feel all of these things with the guy you’re with? Are there any tell signs I’ve missed out? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
