Are you in a mature relationship?
A common misconception about a mature relationship is that it happens at a certain age. Age has nothing to do with maturity, even if you are 15. It is all about how you learn and settle yourself according to those lessons.
Relationships are often thought of as a picture perfect fairytale where your whole life is like the honeymoon phase. When everything is all flowers and rainbows. Whereas, relationships do not feel like it, initially, and that initial shock takes many of us by surprise. A relationship, before it becomes all flowers and rainbows, has to go through a tough time. This is the period where all of your efforts are tried and tested. If you are going through this phase, then read along because this might help you figure out if what you are going through a deal breaker or a forever-thing.
1. Mature relationships do not have insecurities
A relationship that has insecurities means either one of you does not trust your partner entirely. You do not trust them with your shortcomings and the dark corners of your life. You will always be scared if you have insecurities which will stop you and your partner from being the true version of yourself. That’s what a mature relationship is about, accepting what your partner is and letting yourself be genuine with them.
2. Immature relationships look at the past
Immature relationships keep looking back in each other’s past while partners in a mature relationship will always look to the future. Everyone has a past and everyone’s past is supposed to stay in the past. Bringing it up every time you fight will only make things worse and will add the element of comparison to your healthy relationship.
By comparing your partner with your Ex or vice versa, you are just crushing or being crushed by the weight of the unmet expectations and the constant "want" to be like someone else. Soon, this feeling will turn into rebelliousness because after all, only you can be the true version of your own self. Even if you pretend, you can only pretend for a while and switch back to your own self. Thus, true partners will have this understanding of letting the other person be themselves and not try to make them LIKE someone.
3. Mature relationships don’t let others drive their relationship
There are many times when we find ourselves lost in a relationship and we run to our closest, most trusted friend for help. Sometimes, their advices work and other times they make things work. The point is that it is always good to take a third person’s opinion if you are not sure of what you are doing but don’t let that be the driving force for your relationship. No one knows your partner better than you and no one can really tell you what to do to fix ‘your’ relationship. Take a few advices on board but only after evaluating them closely go with your gut feeling. As they say, follow your heart.
4. In an immature relationship, things need to be asked
A mature relationship will feel like a puzzle solving its own self. You do have to put in effort but a lot of your expectations will start being met automatically because in a mature relationship, people understand each other’s needs and wants!
A mature relationship will always get you what you need first while an immature one will always focus on the wants. Also, in immature relationships, most partners are always arguing on what they expect and want from their partner.
5. Mature relationship cues all your apprehensions
"Is he out right not? Will he cheat like the others?" Mature relationships will automatically work as a healing potion for all the heart break. I cant truly explain the exact thing that makes you go, ‘aaah! Why couldn’t other people you have been with in a relationship get this’, even if you’ve been a certain way with your previous partners, you will be completely different with a this one. You will be able to trust and support your partner fully and also be able to appreciate this satisfaction and peace of mind you get from not over thinking too much like you have been doing in all your past relationships.
Lastly, a mature relationship will actually make you feel like true love exists and that you have a chance at that. Mature relationship will treat you nicely. No one gets there in one day or the first time, it will take its own sweet time but it will eventually happen. Just keep your heart and mind open to accept changes and to accept your partner the way he/she is.
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Are you in a mature relationship? What's that one thing you absolutely LOVE about your relationship? Let me know in the comments below!