Is your relationship out of balance?
The secret to true happiness in life lies in finding a balance between everything- balance between our personal and professional lives, balance between our free time and our busy time, balance between the kind of people we’re around, and especially a balance in the relationships we have! Of course, this balance can’t always be constant.
All relationships have their ups and downs and every once in a while, even the best of relationships can lack this quality. But if your relationship continues to lie at extremes for insanely long periods of time, then it’s highly unlikely that this relationship will be able to succeed in the long run.
Here are 5 signs that can help you determine if your relationship has been out of balance:
You find yourself solving their problems ALL the time
It is one of the advantages that comes with a relationship that you have the option to occasionally rely on another person, to lean on them completely and ask them to solve your problems. However, this advantage is supposed to be used as an exception and not the rule. We’re all adults. We’re all responsible for our own selves.
And we’re all well-equipped by now to handle most, if not all, of the problems that come our way. If you feel like you’re always expected to spend a huge portion of your life just solving your significant other’s numerous problems, then maybe your partner doesn’t actually need your help.
Maybe they’ve just gotten lazy and complacent. In order to have a balanced relationship, both partners should act as equals and avoid slipping into roles. It is absolutely vital to avoid playing the roles of the rescued and the rescuer or the problem solver and the problem maker.
You’re starting to lose yourself
Did you notice how you keep gaining weight lately? Or how every day, you feel like you’re less and less energetic about life? Or how you’ve lost all interest in the things you once loved? One more sign of imbalance in a relationship is when you start to experience very drastic changes in who you actually were as an individual.
When a person feels like they’ve been carrying the bulk of all the needs and burdens of their relationship, it often leads to an internalization of that extreme. This internalization can then take various forms- from weight gain to a subtle loss of interest as a result of being too overwhelmed.
Your partner’s behavior feels too consuming
Maybe it’s the fact that they’re too demanding or that they’re always trying to control your life and your personality or maybe they’re just very difficult to communicate with or they’re the kind of person who makes it very clear that they will always come first in this relationship.
Whatever the case might be, a person like this shouldn’t even be in a relationship in the first place. A relationship can never evolve around just one human being. If you can’t seem to focus on anything else when they’re around, it’s a very obvious imbalance in your relationship, and an imbalance that should never be accepted as normality.
You are the only one who stays self-responsible
Does your partner need to be constantly prodded and reminded about their basic responsibilities and functions in day-to-day life? Do you feel the need to discuss the required maintenance of this relationship with them every other day? Does your significant other make you feel more like a babysitter than an equal partner in life?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then this is also an obvious imbalance. If one of you is mature and self-responsible while the other remains immature and lacks any kind of self-responsibility, then it’s extremely difficult to reach any kind of balance here. When one partner has to constantly remind the other to pick up the eggs, pay the bills, or reach somewhere on time, then this becomes more of a parent/child relationship than anything else.
In the long run, the person who lacks responsibility might label the other one a ‘nag’ while the self-responsible person might end up becoming a yeller or an over-talker, in the frustration of being the only mature and responsible member in this relationship.
You’re doing it all
You are the only one in this relationship who keeps putting in efforts just to make things work, to keep the other person happy, and to fulfil all your responsibilities. But this isn’t what a relationship is for.
You are both supposed to care and look after the well-being, health, and direction of this union. Of course, everyone is allowed to have their bad days where nothing seems to go right, where they just can’t put in the time and effort that this partnership needs, and when they should be allowed a free pass.
But if this lack of interest and effort continues for a prolonged time, then the relationship will remain unbalanced and unhappy for both.
Talk to me
Is your relationship running out of balance? What are the signs? Let me know in the comments below!