We all have our fair share of fears, some more stronger than others, it's okay as long as they don't start interfering with our well-being and start having a negative affect on those who are around us. I was looking at some of the messages I get in the inbox over at Relationship Rules, and it turns out that most of you are too scared of being in a relationship, because of numerous reasons that are mostly governed by fear, fear of loss, fear of damage, fear of never being normal again, the fears are so strong that they actually make you believe that you're better off alone and you start preaching about it to everybody else in order to save them from certain trauma and pain.
I am going to name six of the most common signs, signs that will tell you that you're afraid of being in love, you're afraid of being in a relationship with someone other than yourself, and I'm also going to help you get rid of those fears and move on with your life in a healthy way. Let's begin.
6. You haven't made peace with your past
One of the most basic reasons why people are scared to be in a relationship is because they're still haunted by certain events of their past, events that hurt them in such traumatic ways that it's very hard for them to come back to how they once used to be. Even the slightest or tiniest trigger can tick you off and bring you back into that state of fear and depression, as long as you let it have that power over you, and it's not going to heal, not unless you do something about it.
The fix here is to make peace with your past. I've been there, I've had a phase in my life where I went back and forth and I hated it. But I slowly helped myself get out of that phase, the memories, the hurt, the pain, the loss, everything bad that happened to me in the past was a cruel reminder in the present and was making me unable to have a happy future. So I fixed it, by making friends with my past, by accepting my mistakes, by making amends, by apologizing to the people who I'd hurt in any way, by having proper closure with all of my past demons. That's something you need to do if you want to move on with your life and be with someone who will love you more than you can ever imagine.
5. You don't think you can trust again
They say trust is the hardest thing to make and the easiest thing to break, they're right. It could take years to build the perfect trust between two people and it can take mere seconds to break that trust into a million pieces. The fear here is to get hurt again, to get your trust broken again after working on it for so long. But only you can help yourself here, no one else can do anything for you no matter how much love and care they have for you, you'll still be in your insecure and scared state until you finally decide to come out of it on your own. The key here is to NEVER rely on someone else to help you regain your trust back, do it yourself.
The fix here is to understand that whatever happened with you in your past was because of someone else, no two individuals are the same in this world and there are a LOT of individuals, so the chances of your trust being broken again are very tiny. You need to take the risk, you need to tell yourself that you WILL let this new person get their fair chance, their own chance to prove that there are still good people in this world, people who care just as much as you do or maybe more. - Continue reading on the next page