I wrote this article with the help of one of my closest female friends. She went through one of the most painful breakups I’d seen in my years of counselling people and helping them out. She was cheated on, for about four years. I’m going to let her talk now:
When in a relationship initially, we subconsciously let go of the hints and alarming signs that our partner starts to show. Being lied to or being cheated on is the first thing that can happen to anyone. It’s like you build your house bit by bit. Going through good and bad times both and within a second you feel like someone pulled the ground from under your feet. The whole sense of stability is lost and then it is just you twirling around in a tornado of the things you thought were real and the things that never existed.
Why do we let something like this happen to us? We are at times so much in denial that we get blinded by all the good things happening in the relationship while the negatives that have always been there, slowly creep in through the backdoor and we only realise this after suffering. I suffered like that in my 4 years long relationship. It slowly poisoned my life and the relationship I had. We never expect the people we love to be the liars we see in movies. We expect it to happen to any of our friends but never us! And we stop being realistic thus when we realise how stupid we have been trying to pretend that nothing is wrong. Due to which we often suffer a lot, many many years!
I wish I knew and believed these tell signs. It would have saved me at least four years of my life. But anyways I learned from it so I never make the same mistake, again. Here is how you can spot one.
1. Liars and cheaters do not trust
A liar or a cheater is always apprehensive and is always trying to find something that will help them not trust the person. As they know what people are capable of. Trust will always be the point of dispute for a very long time if you are in a relationship with them.