6 Ways to stop feeling insecure in your relationship

A Posted 3 years ago
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I've always wanted to write a piece on insecurity but something was stopping me, my own fears, I used to be a very insecure person in the past.

I let go of a lot of friends because of selfish reasons, because I was too insecure to ever imagine being happy with someone or to amount to anything in front of others, I had a lot of issues in the past that I drove through but they still haunt me sometimes. But now, I think it's time I finally write on insecurities, this is going to be very personal. Insecurities work like cancer, they can slowly destroy you from the inside and in lieu of those insecurities, you destroy every meaningful relationship you have in your life.

This article is going to be solely about insecurities in relationships, this is going to be about the fear, the sorrow, the feelings people feel when they're insecure and how to deal with those insecurities. Let's begin.

6. Perfect relationships don't exist

Welcome to the real world, where nobody is perfect and the consequences of the choices you make are very real. Don't let yourself be brainwashed by what you see in the movies, there is no such thing as a "perfect relationship" in this world no matter how much two people love each other. Don't blame yourself or the person you're with if the relationship you're in is the relationship you've fantasized about and then be insecure about it and let your mind play tricks on you. We are all human, we are bound to make mistakes and our imperfections are what make us beautiful.

5. Don't be a mind reader

Silence is beautiful, don't be scared of it. I'm a huge fan of Ari Gold from Entourage, and I love what he said, "Silence is golden". Sometimes, people take the silence of their partners as a trigger to something negative, thoughts start coming in their heads, thoughts like "What are they thinking?", "Is it something I said?", "Are they trying to hide something?" or my personal favorite "Are they cheating on me?". Your mind will go as deep into the negatives as you let it, don't let it. Don't try to read your partner's mind and respect their privacy, no matter how close you are to your partner. Don't let insecurities play a part in this, once you let your mind wander through the field of the negatives, you'll never come back. Give them space. These sort of situations arise when there is a gap in communication, as I've said a thousand times before that communication should be very strong in every relationship. Say what your heart wants you to say and don't let insecurities come in between.

4. Don't base anything on the past

People develop insecurities from past experiences. Talking about myself here, I was too afraid to trust anyone after my last relationship, I was too insecure about myself to let anyone love me or to let myself fall in love with someone. It was because of how many times I was cheated on in the past. But it was unfair to anyone new in my life that I base everything on my past, I'm rejecting their care, their love, their trust, their affection based on something someone did to me years ago. I knew it was wrong, so I dealt with it. I learned to not be insecure about myself and I let myself free. If you stay in the past, you'll never live your life, you'll just ponder over what could have been and what should have been. Remove the "have beens" from your life and live today! - Continue reading on the next page