Which one are you currently in?
Just like we are unable to tell if we or someone we see every day has put on weight, it is difficult to assess a situation that we are in. Being too indulged in a matter often makes us oblivious to the truth about it which only people who are far can see. It is true that too much light can blind you. When you are in a relationship, you are too busy just being in it to clearly see how it actually is. Relationships can be both healthy and toxic.
A person outside of the relationship can tell you what they see from afar but people are not too honest when they see something bad happening in fear of being the one to blame for the upcoming destruction. So you have to be your own judge and try to decide if your relationship is a healthy one or the opposite. Good for you if it is healthy and time to shut some doors if it is the opposite.
Here are some major differences between a healthy relationship and a toxic one.
What You Choose To Emphasize About Each Other:
In a healthy relationship: No one is absolutely good or absolutely bad; there is a balance of both. Relationships work the same way. If you are in a healthy relationship, you will notice that the things you emphasize about each other are a mix of both good and bad things. You appreciate the good things your partner does for you and for the relationship while mildly pointing out the things they do not do and should do. If it works that way, you are in a healthy relationship.
In a toxic relationship: Your partner always seems to have a problem with everything. The frustration about correcting the way things are never ends and not for once do they genuinely appreciate the good things you do. In a toxic relationship, there is no balance. The only things your partner ever emphasizes about you are the bad habits that you have, never letting you feel good about yourself. That kind of negativity in a relationship is what makes it toxic and differentiates it from a healthy relationship.
Acceptance And Apologies:
In a healthy relationship: The fact that everyone makes mistakes is commonly known to both partners in a healthy relationship. There are screw-ups, there is acceptance and then there are apologies. Whether they could not make it to the dinner date or could not help clean the house on the weekend like they promised due to the newborn heap of work, they will apologize for it. A simple “I am sorry” or something to make it up to you the next time will be expressed to clear up the air; they won’t deny anything.
In a toxic relationship: One on the two people in a toxic relationship chooses to deny their mistakes and runs away from making an apology for the sake of their ego. For such people, there is always a justification for the mistake they made and always an excuse to why they don’t need to make an apology. For such people, their stubbornness matters more than the well-being of the relationship. Such toxicity is outright unbearable and living with such an egoist a shame to one’s self-respect. - Continue reading on the next page