Many of us are consumed by the idea of dating a particular ‘type’ of person. It could be the quintessential jock, the sphinx-like woman who exudes an aura of mystery, the spontaneous artistic guy, the intellectual man/woman of letters who engages you in stimulating conversations, the ‘safe’ nice guy, or even that jaw dropper sex kitten men are said to be attracted to so much. But whatever ‘type’ you feel biased towards, we need to understand that although it is acceptable to desire certain inherent qualities in the person you wish to date, it is not ideal to date a specific ‘type’ of person only.
1. Judging a book by its cover
This is something I’m often saying. Wanting to date a particular type of person only is actually rather judgmental. Each time we say no to the ‘nice guy’ because we believe them to be ‘too nice’ and incapable of filling our lives and our bedrooms with the kind of raw passion and happiness we believe can only come out of a ‘bad guy’, we are perpetuating and endorsing the idea of judging a book by its cover. Going only after a particular look or type, the temptress with the body to match for instance, is rather superficial and shallow to say the least. And after some time, with the end of each relationship, your self-destructive patterns would prove to be just what they are – unhealthy and ruinous.
2. Severely limits the dating pool
Our preconceived notions about people often tend to turn out disadvantageous for no one but us. Deciding not to date previously divorced men because they may have ‘baggage’ is detrimental to the prospect of a great relationship with a truly caring man. Similarly, limiting ourselves to dating women without children from a previous marriage is deterring us from what could be a wonderful relationship notwithstanding her two delightful children. We need to broaden our horizons, and restricting of the dating pool is a very pragmatic reason for doing so.