7 signs it's lust not love

Yousra Nasir Posted 3 years ago
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Certainly, they ignite fire within you and you cannot breathe for the passion that keeps you up at night, but is that what it is? Passion? Love? Or instead, just one of the baser emotions? Could it possibly be lust?

I suppose, for me, the first clue should have been during our time together when he said that, "You don't have to like the other person to want them." Or perhaps later when he indicated that he is looking for something better, and someone more 'marriageable' in his eyes.

A relationship based on lust is great if you know what you are getting yourself into and do it with your eyes wide open, for a good romp in the hay. But what's important is that you don't delude yourself. Here are 7 signs that what you share is lust, and not love.

1. You're dressed to impress

You are always looking your best with them. You eyebrows are waxed, you are invariably dressed to advantage, and your Brazilian is immaculate. Whether you're a man or a woman, the point is that you take particular care in your appearance each time you meet them. In a relationship that is based on more than just the superficial, you and your partner wouldn't care if your hair wasn't perfect some day because your relationship is much more than all that lies outside.

2. A dearth of meaningful conversations

"Love is friendship that has caught on fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses."

-Ann Landers

When you're in love, and I mean well and truly in love, you are comfortable with your partner and all that they are. Which means you are also comfortable talking about most things with them. Your partner is your friend, unlike lust, in which case friendship and the meaningful conversations that come with it are lacking. Conversations making up your problems, your hopes, your dreams, and your life in general are missing from your interactions.

3. They look like sin

In a relationship based on lust alone, your partner most likely appears to be a version of Adonis/Aphrodite. And you're oft left thinking that nature has bestowed an inordinate amount of beauty on this individual. You cannot stop thinking of their looks and believe them to be perfect, when the reality is that they are far from it. In love, you see past a person's imperfections to the beauty and kindness within. There is passion, but it isn't based solely on their looks, rather it is derived from the love you two share.

4. Your time is spent tumbling

This, I draw purely from experience. Although I do not lay claim to it being unique to me and my former situation. Feel free to relate to it.

So, you decide to watch a movie together. But instead of opting for one that is playing at your nearest cinemas, you choose to watch an oldie at his/her place. Sounds cute and somewhat romantic right? Sure, if you do end up watching the entire movie. And that is because in reality, you could care less about the movie and spend the greater portion of the time hitting the home run. And that is just what happens when your relationship is based on lust, and not love. You spend virtually all your time with each other having sex. Indeed, sex is a wonderful way to express your feelings for one another, but it shouldn't be the only one.