This is going to be for all those who have gone through abusive, negative or brutal relationships in the past, people who want to be able to love again but find it hard to because of their past. Before you dive into a new relationship, you need to prepare yourself. Learn from the past, try to remember everything about it, everything you did wrong and everything you did right. We all go through bad relationships, and some of them leave us too damaged to date again, but we can’t let it kill our future off like that and we need to come out of the pain and learn to love again, this article is going to focus on just that, the basic preparations before you even think about giving your heart to someone again. Make sure you have this list memorized and practiced by heart before you let yourself love someone again. Let’s begin.
7. Make sure your closet is clean
From personal experience, I can say this with the utmost surety: Your past always catches up with you. No matter how hard you try to run away from it, no matter how far back it was, it will always come back around to make you miserable; and, when you are trying to move on and start your life anew that can be extremely devastating, so the best thing you can do is to make sure you embrace your past and learn to deal with it in such a way that it does not influence your relationships.
I know this is easier said than done but it’s something that is absolutely necessary for a healthy relationship in the future, because if you try to hide your past, it ultimately leads to lying and that can compromise your relationship. You are human, we all mistakes but we have to learn how to embrace them no matter how painful it is.
Remember, your past is nothing to be ashamed of; it’s just part of the process that made you into the amazing person that you are, be proud of it. Try and share your past with your new significant other, talk to them confide in them. You never know, they might even be able to help you get over it or your attempt to share your past may allow them the opportunity to open up and share their own. This can help you build an even better relationship because you’ll know all the stupid little mistakes you have made an try to keep each other from making them.
Before you can be a part of someone else’s life, you need to make sure you don’t have any unnecessary dirt hidden away in your closet. Take care of your past, make sure it’s far away from your present, far enough to never affect your present or your future. Only commit to someone new when you’re sure you have closure with your past, because if it comes back to haunt you it’ll not only hurt you but the new person you’re trying to have a new life with as well. So take your time, as much time as you need, but do not commit until your closet is clean.
6. Make sure you can trust again
Relationships are built on trust, and once that trust is gone, it is unimaginably hard to get it back again. All scars heal, but the ones caused by your trust being broken, take the longest to heal. Before you start a new relationship, give yourself the time to heal and develop the ability to trust again. Take baby steps but do take them, don’t just let go off bothering to trust again because of what one person has done to you.
There are billions of people on this planet and not all of them are out to break your trust and hurt you. Of these billions of people there is one person who will make your learn to love and trust again but for that to happen you need to open yourself to the idea of trusting again. Remember, if you are not willing to trust again, you will never be able to build a lasting relationship with anyone. A lot of times in your new relationship, there are going to be deep conversations in the dark, under the starry sky, and if you aren’t able to open up to your partner during these conversations, you essentially run the risk of damaging what could have been a beautiful relationship.
Your partner loves you and will want to know when you are hurting and what bugs or bothers you, and if you are unwilling to cooperate or communicate with him/her you will be stuck in the same old rut of feeling misunderstood and alone. Relationships in which the people are unable to trust each other can last for only so long, till they crumble and collapse because the very foundation which was trust was never there in the first place.
One of the hardest challenges I had faced to this day, learning to trust again. It’s not easy when you’re so scared of having your trust broken into pieces again. When we fall in love for the first time, it’s magical, the feeling is beyond compare and words, we feel like we can achieve anything in the world as long as we have that person next to us, we trust that person with everything we have, and when that trust gets broken, we get broken along with it. Life is hard and the ability to trust people again is even harder, but you can’t torture yourself because of someone else’s mistakes. Let yourself heal, give yourself enough time and surround yourself with positive energy. Know that not everyone in this world is bad, not everyone is out to break your heart. – Continue reading on next page