It’s quite a nice feeling to believe that an emotional affair with another person could actually strengthen your actual relationship. Under certain circumstances, this might even be true. If an emotional relationship is dealt very openly and considerately, it can possibly infuse passion and renewed interest in your actual relationship. But the truth is that most emotional affairs are kept secret from your partner. And this kind of secrecy will inevitably cause conflict.
Here are seven ways an emotional affair can end up wreaking havoc in your relationship:
1. Acting secretive:
Emotional affairs are usually kept secret. You start communicating regularly with someone new in your life without your partner’s knowledge. And then you need to take the help of blatant lies or maybe lies of omission just to conceal this new interaction.
At times, it might feel exciting and empowering to actually have a secret- something that is only yours to know- especially at a time when your life has started to feel extremely interdependent and intertwined with your partner’s. But this adrenaline rush you get from acting secretive all the time will definitely not be worth the consequences of breaking your partner’s trust and losing that level of intimacy with them once they find out.
It’s time to stop confusing excitement with love.
2. Minimizing Everything:
Even when you decide to reveal this ‘new friendship’ to your partner, you tend to downplay it a lot. You stop being transparent and don’t truly explain the complete extent or nature of the time or the conversations you have been sharing with this new person.
Some of you might eventually start believing your own lies and fooling yourself about the extent of you involvement with another person. And once the affair actually gets discovered or your partner confronts you about their suspicions, the lies and minimization only continue further.
You start defending your behavior and to keep maintaining the ruse, you might even attempt to make your partner feel guilty for overreacting or being jealous. - Continue reading on next page