It’s been long enough, you both have spent a fair amount of time with each other. You both probably are too comfortable in each other’s company. So, what now? Where is the relationship really heading to? Half of your stuff is at their place. They like sleeping in your bed more than their own. You always have the day planned with them. Your friends and family are always in awe when they see you two together. So this is probably love, right?
But why isn’t your partner accepting that or being vocal about it? We often give ourselves away completely to someone in the relationship because we expect them to be in our lives forever. But, this fantasy soon starts to seem like a blur when the relationship comes to a halt. It doesn’t worsen, it doesn’t get any better. It has just stopped growing and that’s when you really wonder if forever is ever a possibility.
Here are a few signs that will help you tell apart a relationship that will materialise into that fantasy of yours or not.
1. They try and change topics when you talk about the future
If you see them freaking out or changing topics unusually, know that it is a point of debate for them. Also, that they are still in doubt if they really want to be with you forever. Someone who isn’t sure about you after coming a long way, will never be sure of you even after decade.
2. When you talk about the future, you hear a let's-see-where-life-takes-us
Life doesn’t take you anywhere, you make the turns and twists of your lives. Someone who answers like that will blame everything on fate and try and get out of the relationship. Don’t put yourself in that situation and don’t buy this philosophical travel diary crap. This isn’t another adventure, this is your life!
3. There are still too many ifs and buts
If anyone of you still putting conditions on the relationship. For example, 'let’s not enrol us together for the class that starts in a few months, what if we aren’t together?'
If you two have a clear mind about each other’s presence and importance in life, you will not be scared to commit.
4. Family doesn’t know about you, even after all this time
If they are serious and sure about you, they will mention your EXISTENCE, at least, to their families. If someone is reluctant to show you as a part of their life, to their families, without any logical explanation, prepare yourself from a sinking ship!
5. You can’t just enjoy each other’s company
If the thought of just being alone with that person, without a particular purpose, activity, or distraction (no playing with your phone or drinking, for instance), is giving you a sense of dread, impatience, or profound boredom – it probably means you two are not well-suited.
6. You just can't enjoy each other’s company
How can you spend the rest of your life with them when you two get uncomfortable in those moments of silence that you two quietly share? The only time you both really talk while looking in each other’s eyes is before sex
If you two aren’t communicating to achieve a higher level of understanding between the two then your relationship will not grow. If the only real communication happens before sex, you know very well what that communication is really done to achieve. Serious partners connect on physical, mental and spiritual levels, not just one of them.
7. You both have started picking fights on petty things
The frustration is building up and all that pressure chooses even the most stupidest things to make its way out. These small fights on things that never bothered anyone of you before, suddenly has started to bother you. Soon, without understanding the underlying reason, you start labelling things by saying “They don’t love me anymore”, “It isn’t the same anymore.”
8. No one really puts any extra effort anymore
Both of you or either one of you has stopped making efforts, unconsciously, believing that they have done enough and that they don’t need to prove their love to anyone. Whereas, efforts are solely based on making their partner feel special even when the two are old and haggard, effort is one thing that will always make you partner happy. So, someone who doesn’t believe in making efforts, doesn’t really care for you anymore.
Talk to me
Do you feel like this article relates to your relationship? Are you still trying to make things work? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!