It's not the end of the world...
Breaking up is harsh, whether it’s expected or unexpected. You go through all that mental torture and life seems turned over, all of a sudden. You have to change your routine, wake up next to an empty spot in bed, eat meals without him etc. All of these things can cause severe anxiety and lead you to depression.
You start feeling hollow and devoid of any kind of feelings and emotions. Your heart seems distracted and your mind does not want to engage in any kind of activity. It’s all devastating. You get up in the morning, check your phone but there are no cute texts that he used to send you, you check your phone all day, but no text or call or anything from him. It is one of the many habits you have developed thanks to that relationship, without knowing, you look at your phone for his texts.
There is so much around you that make you think about him, think about the time you spent with him. Things that you both used to laugh at, things you both find interesting, those inside jokes about people and events, as I said, there is so much one can relate to. And all it does is make you feel even worse. You watch a movie, you see a couple and it reminds you of your couple, you try to listen a song and the lyrics seem like they were ‘made’ for you and your couple. One can really go through a lot after a break up that can affect them physically and mentally as well.
Before all of this happens, make sure you take yourself out of the trauma and the fear of being rejected and alone and remind yourself of these things:
1. You are not the reason he left:
Never blame yourself or him for whatever reason he gave you for leaving. Even if it is his fault or if he was interested in someone else, it is not your fault. He left because you two were not meant to be together. Simple. If you were, you would be together. So stop listening to those sad songs and stop thinking that it is all your fault that he left. Because he did not. Fate had decided this for you, so it happened.
Yes, it seems pretty easy just to say this, one can’t really understand what that person is going through when someone breaks up with them, but if you try to get up again and try, it can be actually easy. Be confident again, you don’t need to have any kind of insecurities about yourself or anything like that. You DON’T want to be second guessing yourself.
You’re still one of the most awesome people, you can still get a new boyfriend, even a better one than the one who left you. You don’t want to put yourself through different questions like, 'Why he did this to ME? What did I do wrong? Why am I the one whose heart is broken in the end?' You can always just calm yourself by understanding the fact that you two were not meant to stay together.
One can never really plan for something like this to happen, breakups don’t really make any sense. I mean, there is no ‘right time’ for breaking up with someone, similarly, there's no right time to be broken up by someone. You can’t really be ready for it to happen, they can’t be avoided and things always get nasty in the end. This is mainly because there are too many feelings involved, the feelings that are out of your hand, they just happen without you not even knowing.
2. Time heals everything:
Spend all your time crying and eating carbs or move on to a fresh start, the choice is yours. The important fact is that time passes so quickly that after a few weeks, you will not even feel the pain or the emptiness. So, it is much worse to gain unnecessary weight and then feel low over that too. Have a makeover and shape up. Let those curves be defined and within a week or two, you will become the most desirable thing in your town.
A breakup can be debilitating for you, both mentally and physically. You will lose all hope and belief in things like 'love', and you feel miserable being alone. Those romantic comedies, sad songs and ice cream will feel like the only things that can heel you. According to an interesting study done by Journal of Positive Psychology, you will need at least 3 months to get over the guy that left you. But obviously, this depends on the person, maybe you take even a little more time, but the thing is that time will heal all those wounds. You might feel like it is end of the world for you and you might never get over him, but that’s the never the case.
Time! Time is the best thing you can ask for. Yeah, you might think about that person after a couple of years when you look at a movie you two saw together or are at a place where you went together, but you’ll look at that and won’t feel any pain because you know you’re a strong person now and those times cant ruin you anymore.
Yes, it can be really nasty in the start, things will not look good at all. You won’t be interested in doing anything, eating much, going anywhere, not even trying to leave your bed. But then, eventually, there will be a time when you’ll look at the past and maybe even laugh at how stupid you were to cry and ruin yourself for that person who wasn’t even meant to be with you, who didn’t even deserve you. - Continue reading on the next page