The most important promises!
The kind of relationship you have depends on how much effort you put into it. The requisites of a happy and healthy relationship include love, respect, trust and faithfulness among other things. All of these need not only be cherished but also be fostered. This is undoubtedly demanding, but absolutely worth it! The journey may inevitably hit a few bumps every now and then but if both of you are willing to work together, you can get past them.
We tend to make promises based on transient feelings of bliss or even rage. Although very commonly observed, it doesn’t have the best outcomes. The promises made, even with good intentions, if impractical are no good to the relationship. Since you never know what the future has in store, there is a possibility that the prospective circumstances might render your promises unfulfilled, regardless of your intent. When you fail to keep a promise, the next person feels betrayed and starts questioning their choice to trust you. This is detrimental to a relationship; if trust starts slipping away, the relationship would as well.
“Don’t ever promise more than you can deliver, but always deliver more than you can promise”
– Lou Holtz
This is something one should live by. You need to keep realistic expectations of each other and make promises that you can keep, which could result in a healthy and happy relationship. Following are a few such promises:
The promise to listen to each other
This is something most of us are not good at. There’s a difference between simply hearing someone out and listening to them for the sake of understanding. We fail to see the difference most of the times. When they’re pouring their heart out to you, they don’t necessarily expect a solution or advice in return, they might simply want you to hear and be supportive. So instead of being distracted by the search for a response, just listen to what they have to say, even if it’s the same thing over and over again.
The promise to be yourself
At the start of a relationship, you either intentionally or unintentionally try to impress your partner. In doing so, you may often be pretentious or at times may withhold the truth from them. This is never healthy for a long term relationship, because there’s only so long that you can keep up with the image you built. And when you fail to live up to it, it creates misunderstandings.
Always be yourself, right from the beginning. You shouldn’t be misleading them. Don’t keep anything about yourself from them, even the parts you’re not proud of. You might think that it’d scare them away, but it would only strengthen your bond with them and would also encourage them to be completely open with you.
The promise to let them be their true-selves
Despite the contrasting personalities you both have, never try to force them to act a certain way or keep them from showing parts of them you don’t like. This isn’t healthy for them as a person and they’d feel suffocated in the relationship. If anything, support them for who they are without any judgments.
The promise to enable their growth as a person
Not only should you support them with their vision, but also help them in all possible ways to make it a reality. Let them chase their dreams even if it isn’t something you’re particularly a fan of. Seeing them grow would make you happy as well and being a part of their journey, brings you two even closer.