9 signs he or she isn't ready to commit

Yousra Nasir Posted 3 years ago
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Is he not ready to commit?

I have had my share of relationships, the major proportion of which have ended for the simple reason that the men involved have been unable to commit to me and our relationship. Sure, at first, it was all roses and unicorns, and our relationship appeared alight with magic, but each time I broke up with one of them, I realised that the signs were always there. Eventually, it usually came down to one thing. I wanted a relationship not unlike that of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward's. They, at the time, perhaps wanted a life of debauchery worthy of Colin Farrell. Either way, I have now developed what I like to call the 'commitment phobe radar'. Here are the 9 signs that my radar instantly picks up on.

1. Has a long list of exes

You may think at the time that this does not signify, but I believe a George Clooney act speaks for itself. Oh, sure, Amal is terrific, but let us not forget those 21 years of being virtually emotionally crippled. So, if he/she has got a long list of former partners, then that should send off warning bells in your brain. Do you really want to be a part of a score card where you gradually become less interesting to them after they have 'gotten' you? That is usually how it proceeds. You two date, over time your good and bad aspects come to light (as it should in any normal relationship), they strive for perfection in all their partners and are thus endlessly finding faults with you, and eventually call it quits, and are once again on the lookout for the next person to fulfill that criteria.

2. Still half in love with the one that got away

Does your partner have that one ex that 'got away'? Whether it is Judy Garland singing the vastly popular 'The Man That Got Away' or Matt Dillon never moving past Diaz, this phenomenon is more common than you would think. Several people subconsciously or consciously build up the image of the one ex that got away, often believing them to be perfect, and never really moving past that relationship.  Every partner that comes after is compared to that one ex and somehow they never measure up. Steer clear of these people. Whether it was a recent break up or one long-ago, they can never be in a healthy relationship until they haven't moved on from their previous one.

3. Hardly ever gets back to you

This has been by far the most exasperating habit I have had to endure in relationships. It may start out as wonderfully romantic, but gradually may begin to fizzle out, and they may do the vanishing act where they don't call you for five days straight. It took me a little while, but I figured that this strategic retreat has less to do with me, and more to do with their own issues. It is reasonably understandable if this happens a few times, because that can be charted up to forgetfulness or being otherwise occupied. But anyone who makes a habit of not calling you back or responding to your messages evidently does not have you on their mind.

4. Doesn't initiate plans to meet

Do you often get the distinct feeling that your partner doesn't take the initiative to make plans any longer? Is it you who is usually proposing you two go out someplace? And each time you confront them about your feelings, they may come up with a story that is second to none. You may even believe them the first few times, but don't fool yourself. You are not a priority in their lives, because if you were, then they would be making more of an effort to keep you in their lives. - Continue reading on the next page