Studies have shown that 1 in 10 of the people who are in their 20s end up dealing with narcissistic personality disorder- a condition where “people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others.”
Narcissism is a way of expressing your ego. While everyone in the world has some levels of ego, this condition results in bringing out the highest levels of a person’s unconscious ego. A narcissist tends to lack basic levels of empathy for the people around him.
And one of the trademarks of a narcissist is the unwillingness to untangle their false ego self in order to live a real and authentic life.
A narcissist will thrive on other people’s fears. Their strategies are often unfulfilling, which compels them to constantly drain other people’s vitality. They haven’t ever learned that the one true power in this world is love- of self, of other, and of the world.
If you have ever ended up falling in love with a narcissist, you definitely know how painful and heartbreaking it can be.
But a painful relationship usually acts as a blessing in disguise. It unwraps your deepest wounds, only to teach you how to heal them. It frees you by helping you reclaim your lost power. And it helps you learn how to love better in life.
So, how exactly can you be sure that you’ve been dealing with a narcissist? Look for the following signs in your partner:
1. They call you ‘crazy’ (and even start to convince you that you are)
Narcissists are known for a behavior known as ‘gas-lighting’, which is indeed a form of psychological abuse- one that is used to create confusion and anxiety. It is used to dismantle the other person’s own trust in themselves, and to take away their ability of discerning the things that are real and the things that are good for them.
2. They can’t stop talking about your personal struggles or insecurities.
Personal struggles or insecurities which you had thrown away at the back of your head, the ones you had actually gotten over, and the ones that never seemed to bother you that much are exactly the ones that are always a source of stress for them. And they express this stress by addressing your problems insensitively and critically.
3. They constantly blame you.
A narcissist won’t ever accept the fact that they are the creators of their own life experiences. Instead, they will constantly feel hurt and stressed over your behavior. And they will start projecting the blame of everything bad that happens onto you.
Most of their responses get triggered by the unhealed wounds of their past, so they try to relieve their pain on a subconscious level through destructive emotional abuse.
4. They come on strong in the start…
The start of your relationship seemed like a fairy tale where you were heavily pursued and constantly showered with love and attention from a person who was extremely charming and charismatic.
5. …but then start to play hot and cold.
But once they feel like they have gained your trust, they will start to turn on you. They will start pulling back, and will make you feel like you’re crazy if you ever question all their negative feedback. They can’t stay vulnerable for too long. That would just end up shattering their ego, their complete identity. – Continue reading on next page