Why Couples Who Argue Love Each Other More

Misty Renee Posted 10 months ago
via Shutterstock

The start of every relationship is truly beautiful, filled with carefree passion, butterflies in your stomach, and an excitement that feels unreal. Everything stays absolutely beautiful and problem free during the start.

You agree with everything your partner says and you’re more than ready to compromise. But as you two start to move past this honeymoon period, and the realities of life start to settle in, you begin to display your opinions, differences and the intricate details of your personalities. This is the time when you experience the first fluctuation in your harmonious life together.

This is where your relationship actually gets tested. If you’re both mature enough to have healthy and productive arguments at this point, then this is where you actually start to learn from each other.

Arguing is one of the most essential forms of communication. It helps you show your individuality and unique perspective about things. And it gives you the ability to teach each other something new, something you’ve never thought about before. So if you’re having a lot of arguments lately, it isn’t necessarily the sign of a problem in your relationship. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist at New York Presbyterian Hospital, explains how you need to build a few skills to argue productively. Here are his five suggestions:

  1. Don’t insist on being right
  2. As soon as you feel the anger rising, speak up
  3. Listen
  4. Stick to the topic under discussion
  5. Stop yourself from saying something that you’ll regret later


The number of arguments you have with your partner doesn’t determine whether your relationship is suffering. The only thing that an argument indicates for sure is the fact that you both are two different individuals with unique opinions and ideas. And if you can bring these opinions and ideas to the table and discuss them in a healthy manner, then your relationship is stronger than most. Couples who don’t argue are sometimes extremely withdrawn and filled with tension, because neither of them is willing to share their true thoughts and risk hurting the other. - Continue reading on next page