It’s great when your first love works out and it becomes the only love of your life. Otherwise, there are a series of heartaches. When you are going through one of these, you might not realise it then, that it is happening for your own good. In that moment, you can only feel pain of all the memories, efforts, love and compromises you have made and lost but, honestly, this is something I told my best friend when she was going through her third break up and had decided her fate does not have true love in it. I told her,’ Everything happens for a reason, everyone is there for a reason or to be more precise, to teach us a lesson. A lesson that we have to learn before we meet our true love. Sometimes what we think is our destiny is only the journey.’
We, as humans, start settling for the thing we have at hand because, at times, we are scared we would never get anything better. It takes a lot of faith to believe that no matter what, something good will come out of every heart ache but you know what? It does.
Sit back and think about it. Go through all the heartbreaks you have been through, haven’t they taught you anything? Sometimes they teach you harsh lessons, sometimes they very subtly show you things from a different perspective. For instance, I had been in two relationships before I met my true love. I gave those two relations all my love and care, compromises and efforts, but they didn’t work out. Throughout, I always felt something was missing, no matter how hard I tried or they tried, we would end up in a fight. Though we loved each other, it would be stupid of me to say that we didn’t. You love people, that is our first human instinct, to love and nurture. Yet, when I broke up the second time, I learned something very important. Every time we start falling for someone, we start to believe that they are perfect. That saying,‘ Love is blind’ is actually there for a reason. No matter how clichéd it sounds, it is true. When you dive into love, you ignore everything that might make you rethink your decision. You see mistakes as only one time things and other alarming signs as an unfortunate mishap but really, try and remember every Ex.
The mistakes they made, the way they took you for granted, the way they treated you. Do you think those were all mistakes? Do you think they couldn’t see that they were harming you? Do you really believe that true love is meant to make you feel like that? No!
Now think if that relationship would have continued, would you be able to go through all that constant pain or frustration, all your life? No relationship ends for the worse, it is truly for the best. Breakups are the best teachers of life, as funny and at the same time, upsetting it sounds, it is the reality of life. So if you are going through heartache, know that life has something great in store for you and this is just its sect way of making space in your life.
You might be settling for something less than what you deserve and maybe life wants you to have something better. It is hard to look at things this way, my way, but it has worked out for me in life, to great extents. Not just in the matter of a partner but in any way. You need to believe in fate and stay positive.
Being loved by another person is beautiful. But it does not validate your existence or give your life its purpose. Breaking up with someone, though it will be extremely difficult, will also show you that with or without them, you still contribute to the world, you still have people in your life that love you. It will tell you that you are stronger than you think, braver than you could have imagined and more forgiving than you wanted to be.
Whatever kind of breakup it might be, it will always leave with you that moment of insight. This is the moment you realise the biggest truths from your relationship. Maybe it’s where you finally believe you deserve better than what you were given. Or maybe, you realise there’s more to being in a relationship than just love. Whatever this moment is for you, it will feel amazing.
So, for when you go through a heart ache, cherish what you learn. Pull yourself back up, raise your hand and just be ready. For something great is finally coming your way!
Talk to me
Did you recently go through a difficult breakup? Have you gotten yourself out of the painful days and the endless nights? Share your pain with me in the comments below, I’m here for you!