We wonder what went wrong every time something goes wrong, we revisit the events in our memories looking for flaws, counting the number of times we must have said something or done something wrong that brought us where we are, and we do it for days after something goes wrong. These moments of reminiscing come attached to pain, regret and hopeless sadness because that is how human hearts work.
Our attachment to a being, when broken or pulled away by the other end of the cord, comes with great gusts of heartache and wonderment. Especially when our heart is immersed in love; love for their existence, their presence and everything that has to do with them; tearing it free of the emotions gets as difficult as pulling dust from cotton. While revisiting the events and identifying the past potential mistakes, we associate most of them with ourselves.
We play the blame game but only competing with ourselves; all the little fights and all the moody days seem to be the result of our own wrongdoings, our bad decisions.
Were You Really At Fault?
It takes days for us to extrapolate the events in order to comfort or trouble ourselves even more. Thinking about what happened does bring pain but it has to be done to answer all the questions our heart asks, for the explanation it needs.
The guy who left, the guy who seemed to be in love as much as you were, was he done with you because you had the annoying habit of walking with his hand in yours? Or was it the way you hugged him after work? Or, it could have been your constant I LOVE YOUs that annoyed him, those daily morning texts.
Before you ask yourself all those questions while revisiting, stop for a moment. If not before then after you are done playing the blame game with yourself, stop and think if it was his lack of love that brought you where you are, think if it was really your fault or not at all.
Try replacing ‘me’ with ‘him’ in your questions. Was it him who did not like being seen walking with his hand in yours? Was it him who never actually liked you hugging him? Was it his lack of love for you that he often forgot to say his I LOVE YOU TOOs? And, is it exactly why he barely ever texted you in the morning? Ask yourself, were you really at fault? - Continue reading on next page