People are different, it’s also very true that opposites attract. A lot of people might come to you with their theories about what kind of people to date and what kind of a partner you shouldn’t have, but in all honesty, once you are in love none of it really matters.
I believe that a person could be very difficult to deal with in general but they could turn out to be such sweethearts to the people they truly love. There isn’t actually a type; you could fall in love with anyone. What I feel is that once you are truly in love, another relation takes birth with it and that relation is that of ‘teacher and learner’. Once you hit this phase, it’s all uphill from here.
Sometimes, you might get an impression that your partner doesn’t understand you, while you might be the one at fault. If you and your partner end up fighting over the same reasons again and again, when you both are certain that you love one another, it might be time for you to start learning.
I have always been a tomboy and haven’t ever given much thought to relationships and the responsibilities that might come with them. I and my husband had been friends for over ten years before we started dating. I thought that it would be a piece of cake, but it wasn’t that easy because we were complete opposites. It turned out to be a nightmare in the beginning, neither of us could agree with the other. We had a lot of arguments, most of them happened because of lack of understanding and trust. Both these things need patience and time to build, while I and my partner were not willing to nurture them. We decided to end the nightmare but soon realised that both of us were irrevocably in love. The people around us had a hard time understanding, how could two misfits like us be in love?
By now, I had read about 10 books on men’s psychology and none of them seemed to help. We wanted to make it work, so we finally managed to push our egos aside and tried to understand one another, “we tried to learn each other’s ways” and who else could teach my husband about me better than me and vice versa. This is when the relationship of the teacher and learner began. We both were warehouses of emotion, ideology and drama! No one was better than the other, we both were a teacher and a student to one another.
I closely started to observe his routine and did my best to make his day as comfortable as I possibly could. I started to avoid unnecessary fuss and drama. He, on the other hand, went out of his way to make me happy every chance he got. I never realized the little things he did for me until I started to observe and listen to what he had to say. Men don’t usually open up but when they do to that special person, boy they have a lot to say. He started sharing his feelings with me as I started giving him space. Letting your partner do his thing doesn’t necessarily mean that he will stop being interested in you and wander off, it might actually bring the two of you closer. In my case it did. I let him visit his male and female friends without fussing about it, because I realised how important those people are to him. My friends often say that I am giving him too much space and I should keep an eye on him, but he has taught me that trust is the main thing that makes a relationship amazing and worth everything. He gives me more attention and love; he cares more now, he appreciates each and everything I do because he isn’t frustrated anymore. Learning from each other has taken us a long way, to each other we are a book with a new chapter to read and learn from, every day. It’s amazing how long we have come from the day we started.
His ideal way to relax after a hard day is to play video games and I let him do that. I learnt to play his favourite video games too and now I look forward to him coming home so that we could play together. Before marriage, we were in a long distance relationship, there are a lot of misunderstandings that can arise due to lack of communication but we out grew it once we learned to appreciate the little time we had. I learned that small things might have big impact and big things might not matter at all. I realized that he does the best he can within the time he has. Years have gone by and today I realise that I was the weak link in our relationship.
My husband has taught me how to love. A woman is a reflection of her man and I am proud to be his.