After a bad breakup people, toss themselves in a realm of self-imposed harm. In search of a rebound, they end up dating the wrong people all over again, causing further damage, harm and suffering to their already-battered existence. Even though they yearn to feel again, they end up suffering from emotional blockages. The best thing to do at this point is to stop trying and to figure out what went wrong.
You feel emotionally wrecked for months, I remember I cut off my connection from humanity; I worked myself like a dog into the depths of the night and exhausted myself to sleep. Everything was better than the pain I had been through.
What happened everyday? I wouldn’t actually be able to explain it but I do know that life was hard and I was in a constant struggle to keep my head above the water. It hurt to breathe sometimes and my insecurities got the best of me. One day, my life was a fairytale and the next day, I would be on the floor, crying, curled up in the corner of my room too dumfounded to figure out what went wrong.
It felt like someone had picked me up from the heights of heaven and thrown me into a dark under-city sewage, and I had no way out. I didn’t even feel human anymore. I felt like an animal most of the time, tired of tricks and tired of letting my guard down over and over again. I was manipulated and my own words were twisted against me.
I was forced to believe that I was the weak link in our relationship. While in reality, I was the one trying with all my heart to hold things in place. Boy, was he a beautiful liar; I haven’t seen anyone look so good while lying to my face. I felt ashamed of myself for letting him breach my walls over and over again. With time, I should have transitioned into hating him, into realizing he would never do good to be but instead, I fell weaker, more vulnerable and was becoming easier to be manipulated. – Continue reading on next page