It’s usually hard enough to realise when it’s time to end things with someone. But when it comes to an on-again/off-again relationship, the situation is even worse. You’re not even sure that if it’s the off-again phase or the final goodbye. You might want to wait for things to get better again, but there’s a pretty good chance that you’re hoping in vain. There is going to be a time when you’re going to have to take this step, and despite that little voice inside you, it’d going to be for the better.
To help ease matters for you, here is how you should end this confusion of a relationship;
Accept that it isn’t going to work out anymore
‘You can meet somebody tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you’ve known forever. Time means nothing, character does’
If you’re hanging on to him, just because you’ve known each other for so long that it feels like you owe it to each other, you’re making a huge mistake. Has he changed his ways in all the time you’ve known him? Clearly not, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this difficult position. There are only so many chances you should give someone. Do not lose your dignity in keeping someone who isn’t even worth keeping. If you owe someone something, it’s you, yourself. You owe it to yourself to walk away from a guy/relationship that doesn’t do you any good; rather it’s nothing more than emotional and mental torture. You come first, and you should do what’s best for you, and in this case, it’s ridding yourself of a toxic relationship.
End things humanely
Breaking up over a text or a phone call is an absolute no-no!! It’s literally adding insult to injury. Even though you’re breaking up with him because HE isn’t serious about you or the relationship, it doesn’t mean that you should end things on such terms. You may be mad at him, or might even hate him for his actions, but that’s no excuse for an indecent break up. Set all remorse aside, and deal with this as calmly and respectfully as possible. Everyone needs closure, don’t deprive him of that. No matter how hard it is, the right thing to do is break up in person. It reflects on how mature and considerate you’re and not on what he deserves. He’s getting what he deserves any way, not being with you. Go on a date, but don’t lead him into thinking that it’s going to be a usual date, tell him that you ‘need to have a talk’. It’s better than just dropping it on them out of the blue.
Take as much time as you need to get over them
Even though you’ve done the right thing, you’ll just want to cry your eyes out. It’s excruciatingly painful. It’s not going to get better overnight, but it is going to get better nonetheless. In due time, instead of thinking about how you might’ve made the wrong decision, you’d start focusing on how it has changed things for you, for the better. Comfort food, music, movies, friends, family or even professional help; whatever you need to heal. And no, there is no timeframe, take all the time you need in the world. But yes, don’t jump into the dating pool, too soon. It’s never a good idea to start a new relationship, when you’re still hung up on the last one.
Talk to me
Have you ever been in such a relationship? Did it cause you any damage? What made you end it? How did you do it? And how did you get past it? And if you’re still in a relationship of the sort, what is making you stay?