• Relationships Trust
  • How to spark love again with 36 questions!

    fall in love

    Okay, so before I get to the questions, let me just say that I have never believed in anything as simple as just falling in love with someone with 36 questions. I’m pretty sure that a lot of people would say that the idea is absurd. However, baffling as it may be, people actually fell in love by asking each other these 36 questions.

    Nearly twenty years ago, a psychologist by the name of Arthur Aron compiled a list of 36 questions he thought were guaranteed to make any two people fall in love. In order for the experiment to work, he divided the questions into 3 parts and said that the questions have to be answered as honestly as possible and an interval of 4 minutes has to be taken at the end of each part where the two people have to look into each other’s eyes. He based the questions on something he thought was necessary for anyone to fall in love with someone; being vulnerable.

    Again, it might sound absurd because vulnerability is the last thing you’d expect to be chemical X, however, for the two people who volunteered for Arthur’s experiment, it worked. They married six months later. In more recent years, Mandy Len Carton shared her experience with the Modern Love Column of The New York times. She recalled that she felt intrigued and decided to try it out with her friend from university whom she didn’t have any romantic feelings for of any sort and surely enough, she also fell in love.

    Regarding the success of his 36 questions, Arthur Aron says, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure”.

    After assessing the questions myself, I personally think that it isn’t magic like you won’t just fall for someone in an hour. It’s effective because of the emotions that are displayed after the questions; some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. This coupled with the 4-minute stare just makes a person feel different than what they’ve ever felt.

    Part One.

    1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

    2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

    3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

    4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

    5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

    6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? *Continue to the next page*