I Learned That People Who Love You Won’t Always Have Your Back

A Posted 5 months ago
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We should all learn to be strong and independent. 

This may be a difficult thought to fathom, but just indulge for a little bit. Just because a person loves you doesn’t mean that that person is always going to be there for you when you need them to be. It sounds weird, right? It almost seems counterintuitive. At first, you would think: If a person truly loved me, then that person would always be willing to come to my rescue at any moment! But then if you really think about it, that’s not always going to be the case. Our optimistic and idealistic nature always has a way of distorting reality. And reality always has a way of kicking us in the gut when our heads are soaring way too high above the clouds. And currently, the reality of the situation is this: when it’s all said and done, the only person you can rely on a hundred percent of the time is yourself. The people who love you (and there’s no doubt that they really do love you) aren’t always going to be there for you. Live with it. Accept it. Face the facts.

A lot of people who love you will have a tendency to tell you that they will protect you from any harm. They will tell you that they would never put you in a position wherein people can hurt you. But in the end, why do you still get hurt from time to time? Why are you still being placed in vulnerable situations? Why are you still opening yourself up to pain? It’s because the promises that these people made to you are outlandish. They are promises that are meant to be broken. You can’t blame these people for their passivity. They have their own lives to worry about. They have their own pain that they are forced to deal with. You will have to watch over your own back because the people who love you have their own backs that need some watching over as well.

There will be people who genuinely, legitimately, truly love you. They will be the same people who will tell you that they will never leave your side and yet you still find yourself alone often. They will still be the same people who will tell you that they will hold your hand whenever you’re scared. And yet, you find yourself constantly being frightened and terrified without a hand to hold. These are the same people who will tell you that you can cry on their shoulders, but why did they even allow you to start crying in the first place? Why didn’t they protect you from being sad? The tears never had to come and yet they came.

These people who will tell you they love you are very kind and genuine people. They really do love you and you should never doubt that. You should only doubt their promises. They will tell you that you are always a priority in their lives, but you really aren’t. Peoples’ priorities in life will always be themselves. You can never expect another person to place your needs above their own. It’s survival of the fittest. Sure, there are some people who will claim that you are always number one. Hell, these people might even believe in what they’re telling you. But they are only deluding themselves. When it all comes down to it, when we are all stripped down to the bare minimum, all we really have is ourselves.

Do not doubt that there are people in your life who love you very much. These people would do their absolute best when it comes to taking care of you. They will have the most sincere intentions in creating a wonderful, beautiful, eventful, memorable, and comfortable life for you. But you have to understand that good intentions aren’t always going to be enough. These people are going to stumble sometimes because they are human. They won’t always be there for you because they have their own flaws that need fixing as well. They will try to build you up the best way they can. They will tell you that you are a strong and brilliant individual who is capable of great things. They will make you believe that you are the most important person in the world. But you can’t always expect them to treat you like you’re the VIP. You can’t always expect everyone to be bending at your will. You can’t always expect people to put their lives on pause just to make sure that yours is going smoothly.

Yes, it may be difficult to accept the fact that the people you love are going to break their promises to you in some shape or form. It’s going to be hard to believe in the idea that people who love you aren’t always going to help you when times get tough. But there’s also something very empowering and exhilarating about that concept. We should all learn to be strong and independent. 

We should all learn how to defend and protect ourselves even though there are other people who are willing to do it for us. We should be able to take care of ourselves even when there are other people who love us. We have to learn to love ourselves just as much as we want others to love us too.