What have you learned?
You can read all the books in the world, watch every movie that was ever made, and hear stories of all the inspirational people that ever lived. All these things will probably make you more knowledgeable but they won’t do as much to make you wiser. So stop whatever you’re doing and just think for a moment!
Think of all the people you ever got involved with, think of the way they made your world turn upside down, think of the amazing experiences they gave you, and then think of the time when they just left, the time you felt like you would never be able to get out of this depression, the time that still sends shivers down your spine. Think of all these moments and tell me. Didn’t you come out of them so much stronger and wiser than before? Didn’t you learn things you couldn’t have found in a million books? Didn’t they help you grow and become a completely new and better person? They did, right?
So value the amazing partners you had, value those relationships you couldn’t stop from failing and recall all these lessons that you got out of them:
Over-analysing things will get you nowhere
Your relationship just ended! This one person who meant everything in the world to you is just no longer there. You don’t know who to tell all your stories to or cuddle to sleep with and you feel like you’ve just been left alone in the middle of nothingness. At this point, it’s completely natural to start overthinking about why this had to happen, why they had to leave. You’ll obsess over all the tiny little details of the reasons behind it and you’ll think of all the possible situations where it could have been avoided.
But after a certain time when you’ve drained your mind with all these obsessive thoughts, you’ll come to the realization that all this analysis is completely pointless. You couldn’t have stopped this from happening in any way possible and whatever happened was just meant to be.
If you can’t find a reason to love yourself, how can everyone else?
Sometimes, we get so involved in a relationship, we try so hard to make it work, to make the other person love us, to just make it last forever that we forget our own worth. We forget that our life is not just defined by this one relationship we have. In this quest of finding more and more reasons to love our partner, we forget to love our own self. And when this relationship that we were trying so hard to save eventually fails, we become even more demoralised and tend to lose faith in ourselves even more.
What we learn at this point in life is that the only way others will be able to see and acknowledge the light in our soul and the only way they’ll ever learn to love and respect us is if we learn to love and respect our own self first.