A lot of relationships around us are based on one probing fantasy- that you might end up happy as a couple if you were never able to find happiness alone. This theory doesn’t really add up, and it never works out in the long run. Instead of increasing each other’s happiness, you just end up adding to each other’s insecurities.
The only real solution here is to make yourself feel so secure that you never feel the need to have another person in your life just to feel complete- only THEN will you be able to love someone unconditionally. Here’s how I accomplished this:
I used to be the typical hopeless romantic in the first few years of my adulthood. I would stay depressed without a boyfriend, extremely ecstatic when I had one- but only for the very first month, and then moved on to feel increasingly miserable until the inevitable breakup. I used men unconsciously just to fulfill my unknown wants and needs. And I kept repeating this process until I actually started to feel suicidal.
After breaking up with my last boyfriend, I finally hit rock bottom: despair, depression, and desolation were my only companions. The pain became so unbearable that I finally made the radical decision to remain single until I was completely happy with just me. I needed to break this horrible cycle before it could break me. - Continue reading on next page