The Things I Learned when my 4-year Relationship Ended

Misty Renee Posted a year ago
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It always happens so fast, doesn’t it? One day, you’re making plans about how you’re going to spend the rest of your life together, feeling more in love than you ever thought was possible. And after what feels like a second gone by, you’re sitting on the bed, as far away from each other as possible, crying, screaming, and finally walking out that door without glancing back.

Even today, I’m still not able to tell you how we suddenly reached that point in our relationship. I guess it’s never just one thing, one event, or one person who makes the sudden downfall happen. In our case, it was a mix of poor communication, differences in our world views and ambitions, and an inconsistency between how we wanted to live our lives. Whatever the reasons were and no matter how right it felt to part ways, once it was actually over, I felt like my whole world had come crashing down. How can you just forget the past 4 years of your life in one day? How can you start to make your life normal again after that one constant has been taken away from you? I felt like hopeless. I felt empty. And I felt like nothing in the world could save me from this depression.

But time can really prove to be the greatest healer. One day, you’re at the office, talking to one of your colleagues, completely failing to hold back your tears when they smile at you and ask how you’re doing. And the next, you’re driving over to your friend’s house, playing Beyoncé’s ‘Irreplaceable’ on your speakers at full volume, feeling invincible, and realizing that you have finally reached the point of closure.

Here are a few things this breakup taught me along the way:

  1. Absolution won’t just happen overnight

And it might not happen after a few days, a few weeks or even a few months. But it will happen! You will feel like you don’t understand any of the reasons behind this. You’ll obsess over what exactly went wrong between you two. You’ll constantly find excuses or try to place blame on anything or anyone who played their part in the breakup. - Continue reading on next page