Choose her, everyday!
Maintenance is to relationship like lightning is to storm; one cannot usually be without the other. Relationships are like those intricately woven woolen sweaters that, if get hooked and suffer strain, will go through destructive damage. People, habits, changes and difficulty in accepting the changes are what take a relationship through a sea of phases.
Relationships go long, we all know that. We know that if we see it is working out, we stay in it for as long as possible for it becomes a matter of love, not a mere choice, then. But what comes as a challenge is maintaining the relationship, and for maintenance, effort is the foremost requisite. And where effort is needed is treated as ‘another matter’, when it shouldn’t be.
It is about Choosing
It is a common practice for humans to get tired, bored of things or even people. When two people spend a lot of time together, get to know little to big things about each other and notice them every day, they are prone to getting bored with all of it, because it is human nature. But love asks not to get bored.
Most of us will agree on the fact that the beginning of a relationship is the best part of it, where the two people are hugging and kissing every day, all the time, where they are constantly trying to know more of each other.
We agree because in this golden time period, we choose each other every day. That is the form our efforts need to take when the relationship gets old. We ought to ‘choose’ each other every day of the month.
Men, who don’t choose and women who do the same, soon fall off from the branch they shared.
What is ‘choosing’ about?
It is certainly not about throwing off the best suitable Pokémon out from your pocket, yet it does relate to doing what is needed at the moment. Choosing means telling yourself why you are with the person currently, why did you decide to be with them in the first place and why is it that you cannot stay away from them.
Choosing is about having to know, subconsciously, that whatever puts you down today, you will have that one person to go home to. Choosing is about knowing, about loving and about never stopping no matter how many years pass.
Choosing is what puts the soul in a relationship every other day when you wake up in each other’s arms. It is what tells you that you love to have her by your side, to see her, first of all, in the morning and the last before sleeping. Choosing is about quietly growing.
Why is choosing her every day important?
Since choosing means acknowledging all the gifts that a person carries for you, like their laughter and their smiles, their love and attention for you, the relationship might just lose its essence if you don’t choose.
There are a hundred things we can be grateful for, in a person, so when we don’t, we silently suffer because it is the worst of them that we notice more than their best. We fail to recognize the reasons present to love them and, instead, we pay more attention to what is not pleasant about them and what annoys us. The reason why choosing her every day is important is that not choosing only makes you two suffer.
As time passes, you choose her a little less every day, you refuse to see the best in her, the reasons why you love her, and as it goes on, it is nothing but tension and strain left between you and her.
Because the more you see the bad side of her, it shows her your negative side and all of it only turns into a messy business where there is no calm communication and only the appreciation for ignorance.
Why Ignorance is Poisonous
When we don’t choose, we anger the other person. Ignorance is poisonous. If you opt to ignore her, or the fact that you need to choose her now before it is too late, she notices it, quite obviously.
Your ignorance can be seen by her, so not only does it hurt her, but also makes her an ignorant partner, to add to the damage. She might try to make you choose her, but that would be a folly because you can never make someone love you by force.
She would become more and more distant and negative with time if she is not chosen for a long time because she is afraid you would eventually abandon her. And abandoning is where all of it really ends.
Ignorance also makes us wonder if there would be someone better waiting for us out there. It is like buying a nice bunch of flowers for your table vase and instead of looking after it, thinking about buying a nicer bunch.
Choose her every day, or leave her.
Because if you don’t choose her every day, you don’t see it in her every day what you saw on day one, there is no point dragging it because eventually, the ‘not choosing’ will bring the relationship closer to the end anyway.
Try finding a reason to choose her and if you cannot find any for a long time, try the hard way and tell her. And the next time you date someone, welcome them with a yearning heart and choose them every day.