For now, I’ll continue to play this game between us. As pathetic as it may seem, it suits me for the moment. I have nothing left better to do. Quite frankly, I don’t know if you’re worth it, but I know that the prospect of us is something worth being patient and pathetic for. I’m just waiting for the day to come where my brain gives my heart that signal; that sign that it’s time to move on. I’m just waiting for reason to take over and tell emotion to let go of control for now. I’m waiting for my mind to say “Okay. We’ve had enough. It’s time for us to go.” I’m still waiting for that day. But you should really know, until that day comes, I’ll still be here waiting for you. But oh when that day comes, I’ll be free.
I’ll no longer be miserable.
I’ll be numb and oblivious to any ill-feelings. I’ll move on. I’ll be happier, but I can’t say the same for you. You don’t know it yet, but I do. I mean so much more to you right now than you even realize. I’m a puzzle piece that has managed to wedge my way into your heart, and you would feel absolutely incomplete without me there. You just don’t realize it because you’re preoccupied at the moment. You have your cheap thrills to keep you company, but these thrills can only keep you satisfied for so long.
When that day comes, and I don’t know if it’s in the near or distant future, you will feel it. You will start to feel what I feel now. There will be a trigger and the bullet will go straight to your nervous system. The trigger can be anything. It might be when you see me holding hands with someone else. It might be when you see me change my relationship status on Facebook. I don’t know yet. But when that trigger hits, you’ll feel it, and I won’t. Our roles will reverse and you’ll be nothing but a distant memory for me. Someday someone will give me everything that you never gave me and you’ll end up hating yourself for it. You may not love me now but you’ll definitely miss me when I’m gone.
Your life will no longer have its intermission number; the intermission number that should have been the main attraction in the first place; and there’s no one else to blame but yourself.