In relationships, how we talk to each other matters a lot. Words can either make our relationship stronger or create problems. This conversation is about ten things you should be careful not to say to your spouse. These are phrases that, if used without thinking, can upset your partner and cause issues in your marriage.
To have a happy and loving marriage, it’s important to know what not to say and to talk to each other with kindness and respect.
1. “I want a divorce”
It’s important to talk about divorce gently and carefully. Instead of suddenly saying, “I want a divorce,” try to start a calm conversation about your feelings and problems in your relationship. Talk about your issues honestly, consider counseling, and try to find solutions together.
2. “I don’t believe you”
Trust is like the base of a strong marriage. If you’re unsure about your spouse, talk to them without blaming them. You can say, “I’m feeling uncertain about this, and I’d like to discuss it to understand better.”
3. “Can you get a real job?”
Criticizing your partner’s career choices can be harmful. Instead, have an open conversation about your financial concerns and explore potential solutions together. Saying something like, “I’m worried about our finances, can we discuss our career options?” is more constructive.
4. “I told you so”
Don’t use words that make your partner feel like you’re blaming them. Be kind and show you want to help. You can say, “Let’s work on this together,” to keep things positive and friendly. It’s a better way to handle things.
5. “Are you that stupid?”
Name-calling or belittling language can harm your relationship. If you disagree with your spouse, express your concerns respectfully. For instance, say, “I have a different perspective on this; can we discuss it further?”
6. “I want someone who really meets my needs”
Expressing dissatisfaction in this way can be hurtful. Instead, have an honest conversation about your needs and how you both can work together to improve your relationship. Try saying, “I feel like we can work on meeting each other’s needs better.”
7. “My ex would always do XYZ for me”
Saying things that compare your spouse to an ex can make them feel bad and cause problems. Instead, talk about what you want in your current relationship in a positive way. You can say, “I’d be really happy if we could do xyz together; it’s important to me.”
8. “It’s your fault”
Putting the blame on your spouse for relationship problems can make things worse. Instead, talk about the issues as things you both need to work on together. You can say, “Let’s find a way to fix this as a team.”
9. “I don’t love you anymore”
Telling your partner you don’t love them anymore can be very painful. If you’re having problems with your feelings, think about counseling and talk about your emotions in a kinder way. You can say, “I feel like we’re growing apart, and I want us to work on it.”
10. “I regret marrying you”
Sharing your regrets in a harsh way can be really hurtful. If you’re not happy in your marriage, try talking about your feelings kindly and look for ways to make things better. You can say, “I’m not feeling happy in our marriage, and I’d like us to get help and find a way to improve it.”
What are some things you’ve learned you should never say to your spouse? Share your insights and experiences in the comments!