Throughout the course of a single person’s life, there can be multiple opportunities at love; and there can be multiple failed attempts at it as well. And that’s okay. It’s part of human nature to screw up at something every once in a while; especially the things that we are relatively inexperienced in. And that’s the essence of learning from our mistakes. Sometimes, you have to fail at love so that you can learn some valuable lessons that you need to sustain the love that’s really meant for you. Sometimes, you’re going to need to break up with someone to make room for the person you’re truly meant to be with. You have to accept the fact that not everyone you’re going to love is going to stay. Sometimes, there are people who walk into your life just to serve a specific purpose. And once that purpose has been fulfilled, they can exit from your life just as quickly. And that might leave you feeling a little jaded about love, but you shouldn’t. It’s just a necessary process that you’re going to have to go through in order for you to find love for real.
Before you go on with reading this article, it’s important to stress that whatever you read here may not necessarily apply to you. There are a few rare instances wherein people are able to get love right the first time. These are the exceptions to the rule. They are the outliers who are lucky enough to have gotten love perfectly at the first attempt. However, on average, scientists have found that people typically fall in love three times in life – and they all have different narratives which all serve a very specific purpose.
To give you a better idea of the many different opportunities you can get at love (and why they are all so important), you should really read this article in its entirety.
1. The Fairytale Romance
As is often the case, whenever someone experiences love for the first time, it happens at a very young age. It’s the kind of love that evokes feelings that one would be able to liken to fairytale narratives and romantic movies. And it’s during this kind of love that you typically idealize your relationship and you start to believe it to be something more than it actually is. However, when that fairytale period is over and reality starts to kick in, you’re going to realize that relationships aren’t so simple after all. You’re going to discover that there are many facets that go into making a relationship work and that you aren’t going to be able to do everything to sustain your love after all. You lose sight of everything that you need to be paying attention to; and eventually, your relationship is going to come apart at the seams.
You get so caught up in trying to make your relationship seem like a fairytale that you forget the very real aspects of making a relationship work. This kind of love teaches you how to be grounded in relationships.
2. The Complicated Love
The second love that you might experience is a complicated one. You’ve learned from your previous mistakes and you now know that you always have to fight for the love that you want. You are now aware that love isn’t necessarily something that is just going to fall straight out of the sky and into your lap. You now know that you have to put in the effort for your love; and that you have to make yourself vulnerable for it. However, this often leads you open to being abused, manipulated, and lied to by the person you love. And this is a difficult experience, albeit, a necessary one. And you learn such a valuable lesson during this kind of love.
Love isn’t just about you giving everything that you’ve got; it’s also about you demanding for what you think you are deserving of.
3. The Mature Love
And the third kind of love that you experience in life is the one that you’ve always been waiting for. But ironically enough, more often than not, this kind of love is going to catch you by surprise. It’s going to come into your life when you least expect it. But when it does, you’re going to be very grateful that all your previous love stories didn’t work out. When you are in this kind of love, you’re going to understand why all of those other relationships had to fail; you’re going to understand why you had to learn all of those lessons in the past.
At this stage, you’re not going to have unreasonable expectations anymore. You’re no longer going to have to be afraid of opening yourself up and allowing yourself to feel vulnerable. With this kind of love, you’re going to learn that true love DOES exist and that it’s better than anything you could have ever imagined.