No two breakups are ever the same.
No two breakups will ever be the same because all relationships are unique and distinct. As much as most of us would all ties with exes (and the awkwardness that comes with those ties) would just cleanly break off after every breakup, that is not always going to be the case. There is still the slight chance wherein we will be forced to interact with our exes on a somewhat consistent basis. This is especially true when your ex is an inherent part of your group of friends, an office mate, a classmate, or some other person you will have to see every now and then. For those cases, breakups can become very stressful and awkward to deal with and that’s on top of all the heartbreak and disappointment that comes with ending a relationship as well. It’s hard to maintain a healthy platonic relationship with a person you have cut romantic ties with. The reason this is so difficult is because you allowed yourselves to be completely vulnerable to one another when you were together. You opened up sides of yourselves that you would never open up to anyone else. You established a level of intimacy with one another that you share with no other person in this world. And even worse, there is a chance that either one or both of you will fall into the trap of getting back together just because you were tempted to do so even though you both know it’s probably a bad idea.
It’s always difficult to cut ties with a person who used to mean so much to you. But sometimes, that’s really what you have to do if you just want to avoid the stress and the awkwardness that comes with maintain relations. But then, that isn’t your only option. It’s perfectly plausible for you to maintain healthy friendly relations with an ex that have no malice whatsoever. You just have to make sure that you approach these platonic relationships properly and systematically. How do you do that? Well, here are a few tips that you could follow to help keep your relations with an ex very healthy even after a devastating breakup. This will save you a lot of awkwardness in the future if you are able to follow these tips religiously.
1. Establish that after the breakup, neither of you have any romantic feelings for one another anymore.
Once you break things off, really break things off. Leave no room for ambiguity in the relationship. Let all of your feelings out into the open and be honest with one another. You have nothing to lose anymore since you’re both decided on breaking up anyway. If either of you still have feelings for each other, then maybe it would still be worth it to give the relationship another try. But if you feel like the relationship really isn’t going to work out and you still have feelings for one another, then spend some time away from each other. Give each other space to just move on and get over whatever feelings you are still keeping locked inside of your systems. Only when you’re really confident that you have no more romantic feelings for one another can you start working on that friendship.
2. Be upfront that neither of you have some kind of ulterior motive in establishing a line of friendship after the breakup.
Don’t go into a friendship with some kind of hidden scheme to win your ex back. This tip is somewhat connected to the previous item on this list. If you really want to win your ex back, then you have to be upfront and honest about it. You can’t use a friendship as a tool for you to try to salvage your romantic relationship. It’s dishonest and often, your partner will be able to see right through you. If you still can’t get over your ex, then be alone for a while. Don’t force the issue because you will only be digging a deeper hole for yourself.
3. Don’t engage in any casual flirtations, sensual advances, or hookups with each other after the relationship ends.
Again, when your relationship ends, then everything that you used to do as a couple should end as well. No more kissing. No more hand-holding. No more sex. No more dates with just the two of you. All of that should go out of the window. Because if you get rid of the relationship title but still act like a couple, then you’re technically only out of your relationship by name, and not be feelings or actions.
4. Make an effort to be friends with your ex’s new romantic partner.
And lastly, the best way to stay friends with an ex is to just accept that you’re both going to move on to other love interests and be happy for one another when it happens. You both care deeply for one another, but you no longer have that romantic entitlement that you used to have in your relationship.
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