Okay. Here’s the thing: falling in love is the single most beautiful experience that you could possibly ever share with another human being. And you should always be putting yourself in a position to fall in love with someone if you know that there’s potential for things to be special. However, you also have to make sure that you aren’t overeager about it. You have to make sure that you aren’t forcing things before they’re meant to come to fruition.
You can’t be so aggressive to the point that you are actually driving love out of your own life. Sometimes, if you let yourself get lost in your emotional attachment, you are going to experience some serious relationship problems. Guys don’t typically respond to excessive aggressiveness from women. It’s good to be confident when you fall in love. But you also have to be able to draw the line to make sure that you aren’t being reckless about it.
Just because you are genuinely in love with someone doesn’t mean that you are going to be free of any destructive patterns that you are getting yourself in. There are so many women who struggle to keep the men that they love in their lives just because they couldn’t control their feelings properly.
It can be really frustrating whenever you find yourself falling in love over and over again with some new guy only to have him turn away from you when things start getting good. And it still stumps you. You give all of yourself to these relationships and they still don’t turn out the way that you want them to. You give your whole heart to a guy but he doesn’t seem interested enough to stay with you. And that’s when it hits you. Maybe the problem isn’t with the guys that you choose after all. You get the feeling that the problem is really with you because you seem to be the common denominator in all of these scenarios.
Well, the truth is that maybe it is your fault after all. Maybe you’re just letting yourself get attached to a man way too quickly. And that’s the problem. You think that love and attachment go hand in hand but in reality, they don’t. Love and attachment are two very distinct and separate things. You can’t reconcile the two in any scenario. When you fall in love with someone, you grow with that person. You find yourself wanting to live out all of your shared dreams and goals together. You get to know a person to their core and you love ALL of it. When it’s real love, it’s mostly centered around the other person. But if it’s just attachment, it’s mostly selfish. Attachment is about you fulfilling all of your irrational needs and fantastical expectations. Attachment is all about you demanding that your partner act a certain way. Attachment is about you expecting your partner to always be there for you regardless of how they might feel about it.
And now that we have fully established the differences between love and attachment, we can delve deeper into what it really means to get attached too quickly in a relationship. If you find yourself guilty of a lot of the things that are listed on here, then you have your answer. That is why you have been so unsuccessful in love and relationships. That’s why you have been driving so many men away left and right.
1. You have experienced abandonment as you were growing up.
You might have had some serious emotional trauma involving abandonment as you were growing up. Sometimes, that kind of trauma can lead you to become desperate for love and attention to the point that you let yourself become attached too quickly.
2. You get distracted by the superficial aspects of a man.
Maybe you get lost in all of the superficial aspects of a guy that you forget about the human being who lies in the center of it all. Always make sure to treat your man like a genuine person and not just an object of your attachment.
3. Your sense of happiness relies a lot on the man you are with.
When you tie your sense of happiness to whether you are in a relationship or not, then that can be very dangerous. You latch on to men as if they are lifelines and that doesn’t usually end well. Men don’t typically like clingy and needy women.
4. You let your feelings get the best of you in the relationships you’re in.
Yes, you want your heart to lead the way. But that doesn’t mean that you have to suspend logic entirely. You should still be using your brain in your approach to love and relationships.
5. You equate being single with being unhappy.
You are too afraid of being alone that you just cling to any guy you might see. That’s wrong. You will never be able to find love in another person until you learn to find it in yourself.