I’ve always wanted to write a piece on insecurity, but something was stopping me, my fears, I used to be a very insecure person in the past. And then I went through a change. I managed to stop feeling insecure.
I let go of a lot of friends because of selfish reasons, because I was too insecure ever to imagine being happy with someone or to amount to anything in front of others, I had a lot of issues in the past that I drove through, but they still haunt me sometimes.
But now, I think it’s time I finally write on insecurities; this is going to be very personal. Vulnerabilities work like cancer, they can slowly destroy you from the inside, and in lieu of those insecurities, you destroy every meaningful relationship you have in your life.
This article is going to be solely about insecurities in relationships; this is going to be about the fear, the sorrow, the feelings people feel when they’re insecure and how to deal with those insecurities.
Here are 6 clear ways to stop feeling insecure in your relationship.
6. Perfect relationships don’t exist
Welcome to the real world, where nobody is complete, and the consequences of the choices you make are genuine. Don’t let yourself be brainwashed by what you see in the movies; there is no such thing as a “perfect relationship” in this world, no matter how much two people love each other.
Don’t blame yourself or the person you’re with if the relationship you’re in is the relationship you’ve fantasized about and then be insecure about it and let your mind play tricks on you. We are all human, we are bound to make mistakes, and our imperfections are what make us beautiful.
5. Don’t be a mind reader
Silence is beautiful, don’t be scared of it. I’m a massive fan of Ari Gold from Entourage, and I love what he said, “Silence is golden.” Sometimes, people take the silence of their partners as a trigger to something negative; thoughts start coming in their heads, thoughts like “What are they thinking?”, “Is it something I said?” “Are they trying to hide something?” or my personal favorite. “Are they cheating on me?”.
Your mind will go as deep into the negatives as you let it, don’t let it. Don’t try to read your partner’s mind and respect their privacy, no matter how close you are to your partner. Don’t let insecurities play a part in this, and once you let your mind wander through the field of the negatives, you’ll never come back.
Give them space. These sorts of situations arise when there is a gap in communication, as I’ve said a thousand times before that communication should be persuasive in every relationship. Say what your heart wants you to say, and don’t let insecurities come in between.
4. Don’t base anything on the past
People develop insecurities from past experiences. Talking about myself here, I was too afraid to trust anyone after my last relationship; I was too insecure about myself to let anyone love me or to let myself fall in love with someone.
It was because of how many times I was cheated on in the past. But it was unfair to anyone new in my life that I base everything on my history, I’m rejecting their care, their love, their trust, their affection based on something someone did to me years ago.
I knew it was wrong, so I dealt with it. I learned not to be insecure about myself, and I let myself free. If you stay in the past, you’ll never live your life; you’ll ponder over what could have been and what should have been. Remove the “have been” from your life and live today! – Continue reading on the next page
3. Stop creating issues
I used to be this person, the person who used to make new issues out of nothing. I used to find problems that didn’t even exist. I was a very pessimistic and cynical person. I used to be one of those people who think something terrible is going to happen, also if life is as good as it can be.
Stop doing that to yourself; if nothing’s wrong, it means nothing’s wrong! We start creating small problems out of thin air, and they slowly develop into significant arguments and fights, and nobody knows what started them. Be naturally happy; it’s not going to be easy, but enjoy life, enjoy the time you spend with your partner and don’t let any negativity come into your mind even for a second.
Don’t let society make you insecure about your relationship. People love to talk, people like to judge, people have more than enough free time in their hands to sit and talk about others and not in the right way, that’s what people do, and that’s something that shouldn’t affect you in the slightest.
Don’t be someone who lets hearsay affect their relationship, in one ear and out the other is how you should be when it comes to “what others say” about the person you love. You love someone, not for everyone else, but yourself, you know why you love them, you know why they make you smile, you know everything about them, “people” know your names, don’t let them bother you.
1. Negative thoughts
Insecurities are negative thoughts; they can be personal; they can be about someone else; they can go anywhere if you let them. Steer clear of the negative thoughts and don’t let them give birth to new insecurity in your life. Be a positive person, be someone people love being around, and spending time with, project a positive aura around you.
It takes one little negative thought to give birth to a massive train of thought of negativity where you can easily get lost and never return. Be kind, be grateful, be generous, and be positive!
Take the stage
That does it for this one, folks. You guys know I love hearing from you, speak your mind in the comments section below. As always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!