Breaking up is hard to do. Right? That’s what we’re all told. And there’s just no denying the emotional mess that comes with having to break up with someone you’re in a relationship with. That’s the reason there are so many couples out there that stay together even when they know that their relationships just aren’t right for them. These are the couples who want to push back the breakup process; they procrastinate because they are too afraid to confront the reality of their situation. But in the end, they only end up feeling more pain because of all the time that they’ve wasted.
Prolonging the inevitable is rarely ever a good thing. But it’s understandable why a lot of people wouldn’t want to break off from their partners even when they know it’s the right thing to do: it’s scary. All relationships are going to go through a fair share of high points and low points. Yes, relationships can be really great – but they also force you to go through a lot of substantial hardships. You wish so much for your relationships to look the way that they do in the movies; but it rarely ever turns out that way. Sometimes, things in a relationship can turn sour fairly quickly. And when it gets to a point where things become unsalvageable, then it’s just best to let it go altogether.
But a lot of people are just too stubborn (or too blind) to do so. And that’s a big mistake. There are many downsides to staying in a relationship that you’re just not meant to be in. For one, you are settling for discontent and unhappiness every single day that you stay in that relationship. Next, you are depriving yourself of the chance to go out and seek the love that you really deserve. You don’t want to be beating a dead horse and wasting your time. But what if you still love the person that you’re with? Should you really break up?
That’s really what complicates things. You have to understand that love alone will never be able to sustain a relationship. There are really many variables that go into making a relationship work; and it’s not just about loving one another. So even if you still love your man, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t break up with him when things are really bad.
1. He cheats on you all of the time.
He acts unfaithful to you. He doesn’t really commit to you and the relationship. He isn’t loyal to you and he isn’t worth being loyal to as well.
2. He doesn’t make an effort to listen to you.
He doesn’t make you feel heard. He acts as if your thoughts and opinions don’t really matter to him. He is very selfish and he only concerns himself with his own personal needs and expectations in the relationship.
3. He spends more time with his friends than with you.
He doesn’t really consider you to be a priority with the way that he spends his time. He would rather be with his friends and casual acquaintances than with you; and that goes to show how little he thinks of your relationship.
4. He refuses to make an effort in the relationship.
You alone will never be enough to carry the relationship. You need both of your efforts combined to make things work.
5. He breaks his promises to you a lot.
His word doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t care about how he makes you feel or how you think of him. He always breaks his promises to you which makes him very unreliable and untrustworthy.
6. He isn’t keen on the idea of marrying you.
He doesn’t really see a future with the two of you married; and if marriage is nonnegotiable for you, then you already know what to do. Break things off now before you get even more attached to a guy who doesn’t want to marry you.
7. He physically abuses and harms you.
NEVER settle for a man who harms you in a physical manner. Any man who has to resort to physical violence is no real man; and he shouldn’t be worthy of your time or attention at all. You should only be with someone who is going to treat you with gentle love and care.
8. He constantly criticizes you just to make you feel bad.
He’s emotionally abusing you. He wants you to feel bad about yourself. He is manipulating you into thinking that you have to be more and work harder for him; that you need to do more to be worthy of his love and admiration.
9. He doesn’t have any real direction in his life.
He doesn’t know where he’s going. He doesn’t know what he wants to do. He doesn’t know what he has to do to move forward in this life. And that kind of structure less lifestyle can be very detrimental to your relationship and to your own future as well.