Groom Asks AITA for Not Telling Guests About Dry Wedding

A man asked if he was a jerk for having a dry wedding and not advertising it, also yelling at in-laws since they demanded it.

Taking to Reddit’s AITA platform, user u/Infamous-Feeling3207 wrote that he got married last month and just got back from a three-week honeymoon trip with his wife.

“I got married about a month ago, and we were able to go on a three week honeymoon in Europe so this was my first week back at work. This was possible because my wife’s family paid for the whole wedding, so we were able to use what my parents planned to contribute for the honeymoon, and then combine all we had saved with all the gift money as a down payment on a house.”

The newlywed said his life belongs to a family that strictly avoids alcohol for religious reasons and insisted there should be no alcohol served at their wedding.

“The only catch is that my wife’s family are from an anti-alcohol religion, and not only said they would only pay for a dry wedding, but would only even come to NY from Utah for that. My wife was leaving the religion as we met in college and is fully out now.”

“To their credit the parents haven’t excommunicated her but whenever we are out there to visit, we fully have to play the part, no drinking no cursing church on Sunday, and I sleep on the couch.”

OP added, “I’m not a raging drinker and didn’t wanna get wasted at my wedding anyway, plus my parents got them to at least allow champagne for toasts (my parents paid for that).”

He said they didn’t feel it necessary to mention the dry wedding thing on the invites, but apparently, having an alcohol-free wedding in New York required notification.

“Reception was at the same place as the ceremony, so as bride and I are about to enter, we’re in the hallway and I see my coworker and her husband making for an exit and we ask where they’re going as we’re about to enter. Co worker was at a loss of words but the husband straight up said “heading out, kinda in bad taste not to mention a wedding is dry on the invite.”

“Now we didn’t particularly care these two were leaving, but my wife was worried it was a sign of things to come. She was right and not only was more than half the wedding gone before cake, but other people expressed their displeasure as well.”

“So there’s two conflicts,” OP explained. “First, my FIL made a comment about how disrespectful everyone leaving was, and that my friends and family reflect poorly on me. I snapped and said it was because of the cult bullshit I agreed to follow, and that he should know going forward that my wife and I will not be conforming to any of his standards, and if he wants to keep seeing us, expect me to drink and speak the way I actually do in real life, and never even attempt to ask me about church. He said I’m way out of line (since he can’t curse) and stormed off.”

“Secondly, when I returned to work, I told the first co worker her husband was extremely rude and i didn’t want to remain friends outside work. Another co worker who stayed longer at the wedding jumped in to take her side, saying it was shitty I didn’t mention it being a dry wedding, as I KNEW people would rsvp no, and that he definitely would have, even tho he agreed the husband shouldn’t have been so blunt. I told him that we can be strictly work moving forward as well.”

At the end of his post, OP asked, “AITA for all this?”

OP’s post received over 3K upvotes and 1K comments – people in the comment section were divided in their opinions. However, the majority agreed everyone was at fault in this situation.

“ESH. They offered to pay, and you accepted the money on the basis that you agreed to their terms. Getting shitty with them because your guests left because of a decision you made is ridiculous. Your coworkers are AHs because you go to a wedding to celebrate the marriage of the bride and groom. If you don’t like the way they celebrate, then that’s fine, but you keep your opinions to yourself. Your inlaws are AHs because they insisted on this crap in the first place. This is basically a clusterf***,” one Redditor said.

“They did go to the wedding to celebrate the couple. The reception is for the guests and they bowed of that. And if they don’t like the way they celebrate they should keep quiet but they aren’t obliged to celebrate that way,” a second wrote.

“I think it’s pretty shitty to have a dry wedding and not let people know when now days it’s assumed weddings would at least have two bottles of wine per table. Walking out the wedding or leaving early is shitty too,” a third added.

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Source: Reddit

1 comment
  1. The guests walking out are the AH’s. A wedding & reception is to celebrate the bride and groom. If you can’t attend a special ceremony for friends and not drink, you are an alcoholic and need intervention. Also, they did have champagne for the toasts. The groom should not have gone off on bride’s dad. Groom knew what was expected and accepted it, his friends were the AH’s.

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