Well, at its simplest, being in the friend zone means that you’re mostly not seen as a candidate for a potential romantic interest by the person you like. Instead, they see you as just a friend. And being stuck in the friend zone means wanting more, but not having the upward mobility to level up or make any changes to that situation.
How Do You Know You’re in the Friend Zone?
The first step to getting out of the friend zone is figuring out if you’re in it, to begin with. Some guys are just utterly clueless to this point. If you don’t know you’re in the friend zone, then none of your efforts will amount to anything. You can flirt all you want, but if you’re in the friend zone, all of your flirtations with fall short. This is why you need to be self-aware in finding out whether you are in the friend zone or not.
1. You Listen to Her Love Life Problems
The first and most prominent sign that you’re in the friend zone is if she talks to you about other guys she’s romanticizing with. To be specific, if she starts talking about her romance problems to you, that means that she doesn’t see you as a viable candidate anymore. Instead, she’s using you as a third-party outlet for her feelings.
2. You Do All Sorts of Errands for Them
You run all sorts of errands for them, but you don’t have any romantic entanglements at all. Often, you might do laundry for them. Sometimes, they might ask you to pick up some food from the store. These are all things that romantic partners usually do. However, you’re not a romantic partner at all. You’re far from it.
3. You Don’t Have a Romantic Connection
Lastly, you’re probably in the friend zone if you don’t have any romantic connections whatsoever. It might LOOK like you’re a couple. You may WANT to be a couple. But if it doesn’t FEEL like you’re a couple, then you’re in the friend zone. If you were in a real romantic relationship, then you would know it.
How Did You End Up in the Friend Zone?
Before moving on to the solutions, you have to get to the root of the problem first. How did you end up in the friend zone, to begin with? It’s only when you understand things here wherein you will be able to grasp the gravity of your situation.
1. They Don’t Find You Romantically Interesting
The number one most common reason why men end up in the friend zone is that women don’t find them romantically interesting. In other words, they aren’t interested in being with you in a romantic capacity. Sure, they might enjoy your company. But it’s the same kind of companionship they would experience from a pet or a sibling.
2. You’re Not Confident Enough to Pursue Them
At other times, men just aren’t confident enough to pursue women. You should know that confidence has a lot to do with how a woman is going to perceive you and whatever relationship you might have. If you don’t project confidence, then it’s likely that she’s never going to take you seriously as real romantic interest.
3. You Aren’t Ready for Relationships
Sometimes, a woman might be interested in being with you, but she knows that you’re just not ready for being in a relationship. This is an easy fix as you just need to grow up before she loses interest in you entirely. However, there are some men out there who just can’t seem to mature no matter how hard they try.
4. You Are a Lot Like Their Exes
Lastly, they might just be putting you in the friend zone because they might see you as someone who closely resembles an ex or an old flame. She might have had relationships with guys like you in the past that didn’t end well. To avoid going through that kind of pain and disappointment again, she is going to make sure that you stay friends. This might be difficult for you to get out of.
How to Avoid the Friendzone Altogether
Prevention is always better than cure. It’s much easier to stay outside of the friendzone than it is to escape out of it. Don’t fall into the hole, and you won’t have to worry about finding a way to climb out of it. So, if you’re meeting a girl you’re romantically interested in for the first time, try to keep the following principles in mind.
1. Don’t Try Too Much Too Quickly
Don’t be too overeager. Girls don’t respond well to guys who are too desperate and easy. You have to give her a little something to chase or look forward to.
2. Bring Something New to the Table
Try to differentiate yourself. If she’s a great girl, she probably has all sorts of men who are trying to get with her. So, you must find all of the best parts of your personality and showcase those parts to her.
3. Focus on Yourself
Lastly, just try to focus on building yourself. Sometimes, if you live your life passionately, that’s more than enough to get a girl’s attention. If you have an experience that you can be really proud of, this is going to build your confidence a great deal. This will make it hard for her not to take you seriously.
How to Get Out of the Friendzone
Now, you’re done with all of the preliminary information. It’s time to move on to what you came to this article for. It’s time for you to learn to get out of the friend zone. Sometimes, you just don’t realize that you were already in the friend zone since the start. You weren’t able to be proactive, and you fell into that hole. Now, you are just desperate to find a way out. Of course, you have to know that getting out of the friend zone isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible either. These are the five specific steps to getting outside of the friend zone.
1. Be Honest with Yourself if They Would Be Interested
First, you need to make an honest assessment of your situation. Ask yourself if you have a shot at landing this girl. Are they in a relationship? Have they shown subtle hints of interest in you before? What do their friends have to say? These are all things that you need to assess before moving on. It’s during this step wherein you get to determine if she’s still worth pursuing or not.
2. Figure Out What They’re Looking For
Then, if you believe that you have a shot, it’s time for you to figure out what she’s looking for. You’re not the guy she wants just yet. So, it should be prudent on your part to figure out what she’s looking for. This way, you have something to strive towards. You get a better idea of what her romantic interests are.
3. Improve Yourself
Now, you have a better idea of what she wants and what she’s looking for. So, it’s time for you to start working towards those things. For example, you might discover that she’s looking for a guy with a stable career. So, you have to make it a point to improve your professional life to the point wherein you stabilize yourself as well. This is just one example. You shouldn’t have to change the very essence of who you are. You don’t want to come off as fake or insincere. But you want to portray the best version of yourself.
4. Be Patient and Wait
After that, if you’ve done all that you can on building your own life, just try to wait. Wait for the time to strike. Be patient. Your opportunity is going to come eventually. In romance, timing is a lot more important than compatibility. Sometimes, you might be compatible, but the timing is off. This is why you should always be mindful of the timing of your situation. If she’s still in a relationship with someone else, you might not want to make a move just yet. If she’s still busy dealing with her career, then it isn’t wise to strike.
5. Make Your Move
Then, when you’re ready, make your move. When you feel that the time is ripe for you to strike, then do so. Be confident, and just trust in yourself. Shoot your shot and make the most out of it.
Yes, it’s always unfortunate when you fall into the friend zone. But that doesn’t mean that things are all over for you. You always have a chance to make your situation better. It’s just a matter of doing the right things and putting yourself in the best possible case to succeed. However, at the end of the day, if it gets to the point wherein nothing will change, acceptance is critical. Sure, this girl might not be the one for you. But as the cliché goes, there is a lot of other fish in the sea.